The holidays don't have to add extra stress to an already stressful situation. The Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine offers helpful tips to ease the pain.

  1. Be gentle with yourself. Allow yourself to choose which social gatherings to attend. Set limits in terms if how much time you spend and with whom you choose to interact.
  2. Don't carry the burden alone. Consider letting people in, sharing your grief, and being direct in asking for what you need. For example, ask your partner to sit with you to communicate your feelings about infertility 10-15 minutes per day.
  3. Reflect on the true meaning of the holidays as an opportunity to share love with those around you.
  4. Remember that you're not alone. Join a support group or attend counseling as a way to connect and experience non-judgmental listening (no one understands your feelings better than others who have experienced infertility). A good place to start is http://www.Resolve.org.
  5. Practice prepared statements for those uncomfortable intrusive questions. For instance, "I appreciate your interest and caring. I don't have any news to share at this time."
  6. Find ways to brighten someone else's holiday. Donate time or money to a charity.
  7. Manage your emotions. Consider placing all of the holiday cards you receive in a bag or basket and then opening them all in one sitting after the holidays. This stock-piling may decrease daily feelings of sadness upon seeing pictures of others' growing children.
  8. Opt to do your holiday shopping through catalogs or the Internet to keep from seeing pregnant women and babies at shopping centers and department stores.
  9. Remind yourself that just because you don't have a baby in your arms this holiday season, doesn't mean that you'll never become a parent. Visualize your ideal holiday season in the future.
  10. Know that the brightest holiday light that is within you can overpower the darkness you may feel from infertility at this time of year.