Hey Listers,

In case you didn’t know, Facebook is the cause of the two latest social networking crazes: a list of 25 random things about oneself, and tagging an emoticon poster (aka a picture of smiley faces with different emotions) with the appropriate Facebook friend. I will avoid mentioning the latter again, in order to not give it any more legs than its already grown.

The other craze has already grown legs, legs like the giant spider monster in Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. Everyone was doing it. Every major news source had stories about it. Imagine Beanie Baby Teletubbies that laugh when you tickle its stomach. Yeh, that big. But fortunately that monster’s been slain.

Until now! I’m bringing it back, baby! One last time. Like a Barbara Streisand comeback tour. Here are the 25 random things you didn’t know about ListAfterList.com:

1. LAL is slang for ListAfterList.com – not to be confused with the L.A. Lakers or Indo-Iranian word meaning “red friend queen”
2. You can follow LAL on Twitter and get all the new lists dumped into your feed with all of Ashton Kutcher, William Shatner and the REAL Shaq’s updates
3. LAL eats Snickers bars with a fork
4. LAL gave into the peer pressure and got on Facebook
5. LAL is trying to find a better job just like all of you on LinkedIn
6. LAL is the #1 Google search result for terms like “celebrity gamertags” and “types of ecosystems” as well as “other words for penis”, “famous sidekicks” and “23 flavors of dr. pepper”
7. LAL was fat in high school
8. LAL now has over 16,000 lists
9. LAL has been pooped on by a flying flamingo
10. LAL now has over 2,000 listers who have created at least 1 list
11. LAL was born on February 26, 2007 – sharing birthdays with Michael Bolton, Levi Strauss, Johnny Cash and Marshall Faulk and same day as the final radio broadcast of Dragnet
12. LAL has had over 2 million visitors since its birthday
13. LAL has 6 toes
14. LAL has hundreds of lists across 29 different categories
15. LAL drinks two glasses of Treleaven Riesling every night before bed
16. The most popular list of all-time on LAL is Famous Celebrity XBOX Gamertags
17. LAL once had a message show up in its Alpha Bits cereal – it said “Ooooooo”
18. The sports category is the most popular category, followed closely by movies and personalities
19. “Worst” is the most popular search term on LAL
20. LAL cried at the end of the “Rudy” when he finally runs out onto the field
21. If LAL were on death row and had to choose one final meal to eat, it would definitely be Chipotle
22. LAL has become THE place to create and share “bucket lists” with the rest of the world
23. LAL hates it when people nay-say something before trying it
24. On LAL you can edit, re-order and add to any wiki list someone else has created
25. LAL is being a complete hypocrite

Lists Hidden in This Newsletter
Top 10 Best Legs
Are Movies with 8 or More Oscars the Best Films Ever?
Top 10 Most Valuable Beanie Babies
Top 10 Movie Monsters from NYC
Top 10 Biggest Comeback Tours Ever
Teams with Most NBA Championships
Best SCI-FI Actors and Actresses
Top 50 Celebrities on Twitter
Favorite Seinfeld Moments
Tips to Burn More Fat Faster
Best Toilet Paper
February 26 Happy Birthdays!
Day in History: February 26
Top 20 Cayuga Lake Wineries & Vineyards
Famous Celebrity XBOX Gamertags
Peter Griffin's Jobs
Top Tearjerkers in Movie History
Things that People Nay-Say Before They Even Try It
Merriam-Webster Dictionary Top 10 Words of the Year (2007)

ListAfterList Updates and Reminders
Have you tried the new search on LAL powered by Google? It is much more effective. Now you can think of LAL as a place of reference, instead of just a website where you can find randomly cool stuff and interesting trivial lists. Find a bucket list of a die-hard sports fan, or the list of 5 NFL teams that haven’t played in the Super Bowl. Even try using LAL when you are looking for birthday gifts for someone (i.e. Top 10 Gifts for a Star Wars Fan).

If there is anything you would like to see on ListAfterList, let us know.  And, if you have any friends who might enjoy ListAfterList, let us know that too. 

Your Fellow Lister,
Ryan Pratt
Editor
www.ListAfterList.com

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Hey Listers,

With every New Year come new resolutions. Some people resolve to quit smoking, some to lose weight, some resolve to get out debt – some people just resolve to follow through with previous resolutions. Even with generic resolutions like these, a whopping 85 percent of people fail to succeed.

The problem lies in the longevity of the resolution. Quitting an addiction cold-turkey is nearly impossible. Losing weight is a difficult task to begin with. To accomplish it, then keep it off for 12 months, is even harder. And getting out of debt is a task our country’s leaders can’t even tackle. So what makes you think every January you will be able to jump head first into solutions for these problems?

What you should be doing is making bucket lists. A bucket list is a resolution for life. It’s not something you need to accomplish tomorrow. It’s not something you need to even start tomorrow. A bucket list is a list of lifelong goals, goals to complete before you “kick the bucket.” Don’t consider it a “wish list,” you need the mindset that this is a list of things you WILL accomplish before you die, not thing you just WANT to accomplish.

It’s just like a to-do list. You shouldn’t make your daily to-do list full of just the most difficult tasks. Instead of just writing “run 3 miles” or “finish project” or “clean the house” – add some simple tasks like “brush your teeth” and “eat breakfast” and “put on some clothes”. These tasks will allow you to cross things off, and give you a sense of accomplishment as you progress through your day. Instead of staring at those substantial tasks and procrastinating as long as possible, you will jump right in and start check-marking boxes.

Don’t make your bucket list full of things you’d hate to do but know you should. A don’t make a list of completely impossible tasks, aka resolutions. You can have some aspirational goals, like make a million dollars, kiss Keira Knightley, or drive a flying car – knowing they may be unreachable, they may still help you strive to reach other “un-listed” things.

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Season’s Greetings Listers,

Wrap all your gifts yet? Well don’t rush! How you wrap a gift says a lot about who you are. And how you open it says even more.

Think about the cheapies whose gifts are wrapped in last Sunday’s sports page. And the lazies thrown in a plastic bag with the grocery receipt still stuck inside. Think about the hectic gifters with too much paper and the last green-tagged piece of Scotch tape. Compare those wrappers to  OCD-gifters, with perfectly creased parallel lines, symmetrical bows, curled ribbons, and snowman nametags written in loopy cursive.

Now think about those “kids” who tear through their gift then race to the next. Directly contrasting the patiently-waitings, who keep to themselves until each gift has been handed out, sincerely savoring each and every present, opening not only the bag or wrapping, but also the manufacturer packaging, reading the card verbatim, and actually using the gift before moving on. And then there are the OCD-unwrappers making sure not to tear the paper, saving it for re-gifting next year.

First impressions are everything. And a first impression is hard to change. But it’s not impossible! Anything can sway someone’s initial opinion, but not just your iPod playlist, your favorite movie, the clothes you wear, the house you keep, the team you cheer for, or the job you work; the quirky little things matter too.

Consider an order at Subway, or Chipotle, or even a pizza, and the volumes that speaks to others about who you are. Ham and provolone on white with mustard, lettuce tomato is simple and plain. Spicy Italian is care-free. Specialty sammies are for the adventurous. And how about the vegetarian Chipotle burrito with no beans or sour cream? Or the vast differences in people who get plain cheese pizzas versus supreme?

I’ve heard bartenders and waitresses say they can predict what certain people will order. Every stereotypical person orders a stereotypical drink. Cheap people drink Mt. Dew and Long Island Iced Teas. Classy and mature people order martinis (hence Bond’s shaken-not-stirred). A beer for the blue-collared and wine for the house-wife.

Every order says something. Every action delivers a reaction. Every moment can have a lasting impression.

This holiday season, pay attention as friends and family are opening their gifts, not just at the wrap-job, but the gifts inside and reactions whilst opening. And the lesson learned? Don’t jump to assumptions because that just make an… well you know. Wait to make “donkeys” until you take them out for pizza and a drink.

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Hey Listers,

So last Friday I turned 25. Twenty-five! Twenty-five years I’ve been wandering around trying to figure “it” out. And twenty-five years spent, or maybe wasted is the better word, not figuring “it” out. Okay, maybe “wasted” is a bit pessimistic. It’s probably the quarter-life crisis talking.

But seriously, birthdays split the world in two. Those who love birthdays, tell everyone they know it’s coming, buy themselves presents and bake themselves cake - and those who dread it like a funeral. But it’s not so black and white; it’s more like a peanut butter and jelly sammy. Pull apart a PB&J and on the jelly half you’ll find some peanut butter, and on the PB half you’ll find some J.

Some people dread a birthday one year, but fervently await the next.  I, on the other hand, have celebrated every birthday of my life – until this one. This one was different. Every kid celebrates his 13^th (teens), 16^th (driving), 18^th (cigarettes and porn… and voting), and 21^st (drinking). After twenty-one, the 22nd through 24th are typically blurry, and then all-of-a-sudden you’re 25! Twenty-five starts the beginning of the birthdays of dismay. Twenty-five = adulthood. And with adulthood comes those scary words like marriage, children, career, mortgage, and responsibility. Then by 30 you are supposed to have those figured out and you have a new list of words to worry about. It never ends!

I realize these rationalizations are a bit extreme, but I’m in the business of hyperboles. Still, I am jealous of the teenage birthday, the first-car birthday, the cigarettes, dirty-magazine and hung-over birthdays. Of course! Who isn’t? The question is how do you turn these 5s and 0s birthdays into something to celebrate? The trick is not worrying about what you haven’t figured out yet, birthdays should be celebrations of everything you have figured out. I was surprised to see what I came up with:

·         It’s okay to be a complete nerd, and especially a dork in disguise!

·         Fear controls you and your actions. By conquering fear, you gain control

·         The Yankees and the government just throw money at problems to make them go away

·         Do what you’re good at doing

·         If you’re good at something, never do it for free

·         And though money may not buy you happiness, it sure helps

·         Britney Spears and Tom Cruise are crazy

·         NASCAR splits the world in two (this time it is black-and-white, no grey middle between the haters and the lovers)

·         Jealousy breeds negativity, and negativity breeds jealousy. Stay away from both.

·         Eating two Chipotle burritos with chips & salsa in one sitting is nearly impossible

·         There is a fine line between passion and obsession

·         Most things don’t REALLY matter, so let it slide

·         Sequels always disappoint

·         And… Star Wars will always be totally awesome

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Hey Listers,

“They say money can't buy happiness? Look at the f***ing smile on my face. Ear to ear, baby.”

Great quote. Great movie. It may not ring true for all you listers, but certainly strikes a chord with me. You see, I have this uncanny ability to spend money. Sounds terrible I know. It is. It’s as if the pocket of my jeans were actually on fire and Best Buy sold the only extinguisher in town.

For anyone like me, this smoldering “burden” makes Thanksgiving more like Black Friday Eve. Forget the corn and yams, I’ll devour as much tryptophanic turkey as I can, because the faster I unbuckle my belt, the faster I plop on that couch, the faster I fall asleep, and the faster the 5 a.m. early bird specials come around. I cannot wait! I’ll admit, one my pet peeves is standing in line (due to an ADHD-induced lack of patience). Not to mention my displeasure with the frigid Midwest November weather. But the sales make all the miseries worth the wintry wait.

I am pretty sure Black Friday grew from people’s tendencies to start their Christmas shopping for friends and loved ones the day after Thanksgiving. And believe me, until Black Friday is marked as an official holiday in America, I will be using my float days to pretend it is (btw, Barack, if you’re listening maybe you should consider my plea as a part of your fiscal rescue plan for your inaugural year in the Oval Office).

For me Black Friday as good as it gets. Forget Christmas and birthdays when you get presents you don’t want and never asked for: the multi-colored plaid shirts, re-gifted label-makers, and holiday gift baskets with 6 types of cheese and chocolate that come February turn to so moldy your chocolate lab won’t even steal off your kitchen counter. My Black Friday shopping carts are selfishly stuffed with toys for me. It’s awful really. I am not a selfish person – just a victim of marketing.

Take my downfalls as a lesson of the misguided and ill-mannered. The holiday season is not about toys. It’s not about gifts and getting. It’s about giving. And it doesn’t even have to be the gift of material things – give love and happiness and help. Lend a hand to those in need and enjoy your time with family and friends. But also remember:

“Anybody who tells you money is the root of all evil doesn't f***ing have any.”

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Hey Listers,

I can’t believe it’s been a year since my rant about how Halloween is supposed to be a night of fright, not this funny fools’ day it’s turned into. And I’m still peeved. Why are television stations airing National Lampoon’s Vacation over-and-over again when there are 100s of great scary movies they could show instead?

Instead of watching Michael Myers chop up all the trick-or-treaters in Haddonfield, we get Clark Griswold and family on their “merry” way to Wally World. Yeah there are some deaths (dragging Dinky to death behind the car and Aunt Edna passing in her sleep in the backseat), but they’re funny deaths. And sure Harold Ramis, one of the original Ghostbusters directed it (which by the way is painfully more funny than it is scary), but c’mon! I am looking for horror movies deaths. “Final Destination” meets Jason Voorhees meets “The Hills Have Eyes.” I want to be scared on Halloween! Give me “Halloween” and “Friday the 13^th,” or at least “Nightmare on Elm Street.” Where’s Freddy and Jason and Jigsaw and Chucky? Is AMC the only channel that gets it? Or have all the funny, cute little Halloween costumes distorted all our “fragile little minds.”

I have a favor to ask of you. Instead of giving treats to every trick-or-treater this year, reward the scary skeletons and ugly witches. Give the gobstoppers to goblins, ghosts and ghouls. And trick those funny, cute kids with an apple or toothbrush.

And any of you trick-or-treaters out there, let’s get back to the roots of Beggar’s Night. Remember the history behind the tradition, if someone forgets the treats, or leaves a “please take one” basket out, make sure you play an idle trick on the house or the homeowners. That is what the saying is all about. “Trick-or-Treat!”

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Hey Listers,

 

Worried?  I am sure you are. There is a lot to be worried about these days. And everybody is worried about something sometimes (not to be confused with Dino’s “Everybody Loves Somebody Sometime”… though just as true). But even the smooth talking, care-free Rat Pack had their worries. Like when Frank Sinatra Jr. was kidnapped. Imagine how nerve-racking that would be! Us normal folks have more common things to worry about.

 

First and foremost on everyone’s mind is this fiscal pit we’ve fallen into. The DOW continues to drop. Huge firms are flopping. Banks are bankrupt. And you are worried about your money, your future, your children’s future, and your children’s children’s future. Who wouldn’t be?

 

Then there is the Presidential election. Who are you going to vote for? Will he fix our problems? Can he put an end to our worrying? And then even if he says he can, will he?

 

And don’t forget about the simpler uncertainties in life. What to wear tomorrow? What to eat for dinner? How will this presentation go? And how far below that red line can the fuel gage go before you have to fill up on $4-gas?

 

So many questions, so few answers.

 

"Today is the tomorrow I was so worried about yesterday." It’s so true, yet, makes absolutely no sense if you think about it.

 

What’s all this worrying for? What’s it mean? That you have to hold off on that 60-inch plasma to hang on the wall, or that roomy new black-leather Gucci handbag. That you can’t lay a gas-hogging footslam on the accelerator when the light turns green. And that you can’t go to SinCity for a Sammy-Davis-style New Year’s bash.

 

Now I’m not going to pretend I’m Nietzsche or anything, but does any of this truly matter? You need to have “the ability to let that which truly doesn’t matter slide” because “everything will work out – it always does.”

 

The truth of the matter is this: there is always plenty to worry about, always; and worrying never makes anything better – it doesn’t solve problems and doesn’t make issues go away. So instead of wasting away worrying about things – especially things that truly do not matter – why not take a break from your worries, smile and take a deep breath. Because just as it reads on Sinatra’s tombstone: “The Best Is Yet To Come.”

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Hey Listers,
It’s been a while. Hope you are still listing! Sure looks like you are. LAL has over 14,500 lists now! A lot has happened since I wrote you last:

 The new Indiana Jones premiered and bombed. Well critically bombed at least; box-office numbers did okay despite the horrid reviews and me walking out of the theater half-way through; did you know you can’t get refunds for movies utterly sucking ?

Seems like Harrison Ford has been around longer than sliced bread doesn’t it? Ford’s first role as a bellhop in “Dead Heat on a Merry-Go-Round ,” was the same year  the Beatles’ John Lennon  made the comment in an interview published in The London Evening Standard, "We're more popular than Jesus now.” Speaking of more popular than Jesus, did you know Ford had roles in many of biggest box-office hits of all time , though his role in E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (as Elliot's school principal) was deleted from the final cut of the film. It’s shocking that he is only #75 on the list of Top 100 Actors and Actresses with the Most Movie and TV Appearances . 

Other debuts include new iPhone 3G. It still sucks!

Big Brown made his bid at the Triple Crown of horse racing only to come up short in the final leg . No pun intended. But speaking of slipping up:

Sarah Palin tripped and fell bum -backwards into the Republican VP seat, political spotlight and harsh media criticisms (Caution: Alaskan ice slippery when wet).

As the Presidential election gets closer, more and more celebrities are choosing sides of the aisle. Hollywood is known to be left-leaning , but there are some celebs openly backing McCain as well on the other side of the aisle.

And how about Michael Phelps?! Not his political views; and actually NOT the 8 gold medals either, because that’s nothing compared to his daily food intake. 12,000 calories! Do you know what that is equal to? Have you ever tried to eat two Chipotle burritos? I have and I cannot even imagine ten! I have a better chance at London gold in the 200-free.

…Anyway, I hope you keep listing , adding to those wiki lists , and continually checking back with ListAfterList as it becomes the biggest thing since powdered milk . Or is it “biggest since sliced bread” and “longer than powdered milk”? Powdered milk was first spotted by Marco Polo in Mongolia in 1275; that’s not that long is it? Or very big? Wait, what does powdered milk have to do with anything?

Nevermind that, here is one final, actually important question: What are the options you have if your boss’s toupee falls on the floor?

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Still Resoluting?

Happy New Year Listers!

How’s your resolution coming along? You realize it is only day 10 right? Don’t worry, I am not doing so well either. I told myself I wouldn’t be so obsessed with making lists for every little task in my life.

You should’ve seen it – there were daily to-do lists, weekly to-do lists, movies to see, music to download, grocery lists, reading lists, lists on my Treo, lists on my fridge, and lists covering my desk.  Well, there are still lots of lists but I am not as obsessed with it. Then again, what could I really expect, I do have a pretty influential list-making job.

What was your New Year’s Resolution? Were you creative? Or did you choose something generic: to lose 20 pounds, to run 5 miles every week, to read more books, or to quit smoking? Those generic ones are often harder to stick to. Try being creative, instead of a generic diet resolution, try something like only drink soda when you are out to eat, or instead of picking a random resolution out of your favorite fitness magazine, try to find a sport you like (or even a Nintendo Wii game like Wii Sports) and joining a league or playing with friends a few times every week. Don’t just say you’ll read more books; make a list of books you want to read. Just because John and Heather say you should spend less, save more, and watch your debt disappear, doesn’t mean that should be your New Year’s choice. Try to make something fit your lifestyle; for instance, don’t buy a new DVD every Tuesday, or instead of going to Outback for dinner, try grilling out back your home instead.

No one else can make your resolution for you. But you can get some very creative ideas from others’ resolutions. And remember, resolutions don’t have to start on January 1st, you can always make willful changes any day of the week, any week during the year.

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Season’s Greetings Listers!

 

And Happy Holidays. Unless of course, you haven’t finished your Christmas shopping yet? Or if you are in any way related to Britney Spears? Did you hear her 16-year-old little sister is pregnant now? And her mom’s “parenting” book has been delayed indefinitely. Maybe now grandma will have time to add a new chapter on teen pregnancy and their bald, party-animal aunts? Then again, maybe you have another reason to not be merry? Or maybe you’re just one of those real-life Scrooges? Well don’t be a Grinch! So you don’t like the mall’s hour-long checkout lines. And your rear-wheel-drive, two-door car sucks on the unsalted, unplowed roads. And maybe your honey-do list gets a little longer this time of year. Whatever your reason to be bah-humbugger, there are plenty of reasons to be a Cindy Lou Who instead; besides the usual family, friends and health. Hate the commercialized Christmas? Make it a religious holiday. Remember that December 25th is supposed to be a celebration of the birth of Jesus. Hate the holy, spiritual side? Celebrate the social side. The holidays are a time of gathering. Besides seeing old friends and long-lost family members, it’s a chance to meet new people. Come out of your shell and shake hands with strangers at your office party, or look for some cutie standing alone under the mistletoe at the bar. Hate the social obligations? Curl up on the couch with a warm blanket and cup of eggnog next to a crackling fire and sparkling Christmas tree. Or go play fetch with your dog in the snow. Or take a stroll through the local holiday decorations. ‘Tis the season! Or just get out of town you Grinch. If you just don’t want to celebrate Christmas, take the expected time off of work or school to go on a vacation. In any case, if you’re a holiday Scrooge today, try and remember how special it was as a child. And if you’re childhood holiday memoirs were glum, you can always make new memories Mañana.

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