Season’s Greetings Listers,

Wrap all your gifts yet? Well don’t rush! How you wrap a gift says a lot about who you are. And how you open it says even more.

Think about the cheapies whose gifts are wrapped in last Sunday’s sports page. And the lazies thrown in a plastic bag with the grocery receipt still stuck inside. Think about the hectic gifters with too much paper and the last green-tagged piece of Scotch tape. Compare those wrappers to  OCD-gifters, with perfectly creased parallel lines, symmetrical bows, curled ribbons, and snowman nametags written in loopy cursive.

Now think about those “kids” who tear through their gift then race to the next. Directly contrasting the patiently-waitings, who keep to themselves until each gift has been handed out, sincerely savoring each and every present, opening not only the bag or wrapping, but also the manufacturer packaging, reading the card verbatim, and actually using the gift before moving on. And then there are the OCD-unwrappers making sure not to tear the paper, saving it for re-gifting next year.

First impressions are everything. And a first impression is hard to change. But it’s not impossible! Anything can sway someone’s initial opinion, but not just your iPod playlist, your favorite movie, the clothes you wear, the house you keep, the team you cheer for, or the job you work; the quirky little things matter too.

Consider an order at Subway, or Chipotle, or even a pizza, and the volumes that speaks to others about who you are. Ham and provolone on white with mustard, lettuce tomato is simple and plain. Spicy Italian is care-free. Specialty sammies are for the adventurous. And how about the vegetarian Chipotle burrito with no beans or sour cream? Or the vast differences in people who get plain cheese pizzas versus supreme?

I’ve heard bartenders and waitresses say they can predict what certain people will order. Every stereotypical person orders a stereotypical drink. Cheap people drink Mt. Dew and Long Island Iced Teas. Classy and mature people order martinis (hence Bond’s shaken-not-stirred). A beer for the blue-collared and wine for the house-wife.

Every order says something. Every action delivers a reaction. Every moment can have a lasting impression.

This holiday season, pay attention as friends and family are opening their gifts, not just at the wrap-job, but the gifts inside and reactions whilst opening. And the lesson learned? Don’t jump to assumptions because that just make an… well you know. Wait to make “donkeys” until you take them out for pizza and a drink.

Read more

Hey Listers,

So last Friday I turned 25. Twenty-five! Twenty-five years I’ve been wandering around trying to figure “it” out. And twenty-five years spent, or maybe wasted is the better word, not figuring “it” out. Okay, maybe “wasted” is a bit pessimistic. It’s probably the quarter-life crisis talking.

But seriously, birthdays split the world in two. Those who love birthdays, tell everyone they know it’s coming, buy themselves presents and bake themselves cake - and those who dread it like a funeral. But it’s not so black and white; it’s more like a peanut butter and jelly sammy. Pull apart a PB&J and on the jelly half you’ll find some peanut butter, and on the PB half you’ll find some J.

Some people dread a birthday one year, but fervently await the next.  I, on the other hand, have celebrated every birthday of my life – until this one. This one was different. Every kid celebrates his 13^th (teens), 16^th (driving), 18^th (cigarettes and porn… and voting), and 21^st (drinking). After twenty-one, the 22nd through 24th are typically blurry, and then all-of-a-sudden you’re 25! Twenty-five starts the beginning of the birthdays of dismay. Twenty-five = adulthood. And with adulthood comes those scary words like marriage, children, career, mortgage, and responsibility. Then by 30 you are supposed to have those figured out and you have a new list of words to worry about. It never ends!

I realize these rationalizations are a bit extreme, but I’m in the business of hyperboles. Still, I am jealous of the teenage birthday, the first-car birthday, the cigarettes, dirty-magazine and hung-over birthdays. Of course! Who isn’t? The question is how do you turn these 5s and 0s birthdays into something to celebrate? The trick is not worrying about what you haven’t figured out yet, birthdays should be celebrations of everything you have figured out. I was surprised to see what I came up with:

·         It’s okay to be a complete nerd, and especially a dork in disguise!

·         Fear controls you and your actions. By conquering fear, you gain control

·         The Yankees and the government just throw money at problems to make them go away

·         Do what you’re good at doing

·         If you’re good at something, never do it for free

·         And though money may not buy you happiness, it sure helps

·         Britney Spears and Tom Cruise are crazy

·         NASCAR splits the world in two (this time it is black-and-white, no grey middle between the haters and the lovers)

·         Jealousy breeds negativity, and negativity breeds jealousy. Stay away from both.

·         Eating two Chipotle burritos with chips & salsa in one sitting is nearly impossible

·         There is a fine line between passion and obsession

·         Most things don’t REALLY matter, so let it slide

·         Sequels always disappoint

·         And… Star Wars will always be totally awesome

Read more