Wake Up the Stars
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Celebrity Screw-up Kick-off Event
We are smack in the middle of the dog days of summer. And no, that doesn’t have anything to do with Michael Vick or Joey Chestnut. Instead, it refers to the hottest days of the year, usually starting in July and ending in early September. It is called “dog days” because the ancient Romans thought the heat came from the brightest star in the sky, Sirius (a.k.a. the “dog star”) that rises and sets with the sun during these months. As it turns out, its not hotter due to super radiation from this brilliant star, the heat is actually a result of the earth’s tilt. Anyway, if you’re interested in stargazing and peeping at Sirius, make sure you have a dark place away from the blinding city lights. Traveling to find that perfect place? Might as well pick one with a great prequel. Then if you’re tired from watching meteor showers all night, consider trying some different morning jolt besides that old-fashioned cup of joe. You’re going to need some energy during these final stifling “dog days.” But don’t blink - summer will be over before you know it.
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Hot Dog, That Was Good!
Doesn’t it seem like celebrities are screwing up every day? We all know about Paris Hilton, but that was just the “Celebrity Screw-up Kick-off Event.”
Lindsay Lohan has fallen off the wagon, and then climbed back on only to nosedive off again. Now she’s been arrested for a DUI and cocaine possession.
Britney Spears shaved her head and attacked a paparazzi’s car with an umbrella.
NFL quarterback Michael Vick continues to get in trouble. This time however, it’s unlikely he will avoid the sack.
In the NBA, a referee, Tim Donaghy, has been exposed for working with organized crime to affect the outcome of games.
Before all this drama, there was actress Winona Ryder, who stole more than $5,500 worth of merchandise from Beverly Hills Saks.
The NBA Lakers Kobe Bryant was accused of rape. O.J. Simpson was accused of murder. And three Duke University lacrosse players were also accused of rape.
Because of the attitudes and personalities that celebrities develop, the gross amount of money they make, and the viral interest in their lives, these poor decisions are never going to stop. So the real question is, who is next?
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How was your Fourth of July? There was an incredible Independence Day fireworks display in Columbus, Ohio called “Red, White and Boom.” But I am sure there are plenty of booming events around the country. After all, it is the celebration of this great nation’s birthday.
What better way to celebrate than with ice cold beer in the cooler and hot dogs off the grill. Guarantee you can’t eat 66 dogs in 12 minutes like Joey Chestnut (if so, you just missed out on a $20,000 prize and the coveted Yellow Mustard Belt). But those Nathan’s Hot Dogs are plain and boring anyway - try an Ultimate Hot Dog instead!
Or maybe you prefer the movie theater’s overpriced $4.50 hot dog. Although, the entertainment value of “Transformers” and “Die Hard” are more than worth the price of admission plus a few overpriced hot dogs. And I am sure “Harry Potter” will be too. By the way, did you know you could take beers into these movie theaters? There are probably tons more around the nation.
Do you believe Federer won another Wimbledon championship? Andy Roddick may never get another chance - but at least he can impersonate the winners. And how about the American Venus Williams winning on the women’s side? You are going to have to find a new source for your sporting news (…hint, hint, www.ListAfterList.com...) now that Dan Patrick is retiring. He has to be one of the top five sportscasters ever.
Speaking of top fives, if you missed the Live Earth concert last weekend (apparently most of the world did), here are the top five performances. It’s really all you needed to see. I am sure you were probably tuned into the Rock, Paper, Scissors Championships anyway.
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