So last Friday
I turned 25. Twenty-five! Twenty-five
years I’ve been wandering around trying to figure “it” out. And twenty-five
years spent, or maybe wasted is the better word, not figuring “it” out. Okay,
maybe “wasted” is a bit pessimistic.
It’s probably the quarter-life crisis talking.
But seriously, birthdays split the world in two. Those who
love birthdays, tell everyone they know it’s coming, buy themselves presents and
bake themselves cake - and those who dread it like a funeral. But it’s not so black
and white; it’s more like a peanut
butter and jelly sammy. Pull apart a PB&J and on the jelly half you’ll
find some peanut butter, and on the PB half you’ll find some J.
Some people dread a birthday one year, but fervently await
the next. I, on the other hand, have celebrated every birthday of my life –
until this one. This one was different. Every kid celebrates his 13th
(teens), 16th (driving), 18th (cigarettes and porn…
and voting), and 21st (drinking).
After twenty-one, the 22nd through 24th are typically blurry, and then
all-of-a-sudden you’re 25! Twenty-five starts the beginning of the birthdays of
dismay. Twenty-five = adulthood. And with adulthood
comes those scary words like marriage, children, career, mortgage, and
responsibility. Then by 30 you are supposed to have those figured out and you
have a new list of words to worry about. It never ends!
I realize these rationalizations are a bit extreme, but I’m
in the business of hyperboles.
Still, I am jealous of the teenage birthday, the first-car birthday, the
cigarettes, dirty-magazine and hung-over birthdays. Of course! Who isn’t? The
question is how do you turn these 5s and 0s birthdays into something to
celebrate? The trick
is not worrying about what you haven’t figured out yet, birthdays should be
celebrations of everything you have figured out. I was surprised to see what I
came up with:
It’s okay to
be a complete nerd,
and especially a dork in disguise!
controls you and your actions. By conquering fear, you gain
and the government just throw money at problems to make them go
Do what you’re
good at doing
you’re good at something, never do it for free
And though money
may not buy you happiness, it sure helps
and Tom Cruise are crazy
the world in two (this time it is black-and-white, no grey middle between the
haters and the lovers)
breeds negativity, and negativity breeds jealousy. Stay away from
Eating two Chipotle
burritos with chips & salsa in one sitting is nearly
There is a
fine line between passion and obsession
don’t REALLY matter, so let it slide
Wars will always be totally awesome
Lists Hidden in This Newsletter
5th Birthdays: Walt Disney, Art Monk and Martin Van Buren
10 Xmas Gifts for a Single 20-Something Male who likes Sports, Movies and
20 Pessimistic Quotes
of Complete Opposites
& Electra: Best Celebrity "Playboy" Covers
20 Schools for Lots of Hard Liquor
Words You Dread Growing Up and Having to Deal With
Simple Ways to Save Yourself From Messing up Your Life
Pickup Lines for Nerds & Dorks
of Vomiting: Top 10 Phobias in the U.S.
10 "Dark Knight" Quotes
to Win Someone Back
Fast Food You Can Eat
Worst Sequels Ever
Actors in All 6 Star Wars Films
ListAfterList Updates and Reminders
own “Things I’ve Figured Out” list at LAL today!
Check out my
birthday newsletter from last year and see how I’ve grown!
Have you tried the new search on LAL powered by Google? It is much more
effective. Now you can think of LAL as a place of reference, instead of
just a website where you can find randomly cool stuff and interesting trivial
lists. Even try using LAL when you are looking for holiday
gifts for someone (i.e. Top 10
Gifts for a Star Wars Fan).
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