Jay Leno is a comedian and host of NBC's The Tonight Show. Here are just a few of his famous quotes.

  1. 106 [degrees] in the valley… I was sweating like Dan Rather checking for forged documents.
  2. I was in the ROTC. Of course, ROTC stood for "Running off to Canada".
  3. So China's president [Hu Jintao] meets, uh— meets America's president. It's like President "Who?" meeting President "Huh?".
  4. A new poll shows that Americans now believe that Bill Clinton is more honest than President Bush. At least when Clinton screwed the nation, he did it one person at a time.
  5. And some sad news… the first lesbian couple to be legally get married in the state of Massachusetts has split up. They cited irreconcilable similarities.
  6. French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too soon. The French are acting as advisers to the Taliban, to teach them how to surrender properly.
  7. Congratulations to the Italian people for winning the World Cup. ... They won after France’s best player got ejected for head butting. That’s the closest anyone in a French uniform has come to combat in 60 years
  8. Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.
  9. You're not famous until my mother knows about it.
  10. A 102-year-old tree fell over in front of the White House. They said this happening involved three factors: its age, a strong wind, and Patrick Kennedy's car.
  11. He's described as the architect of the war on Iraq. And he should be very proud, bcause he's built something that's going to last for years and years.