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Tim Taylor Proverbs and Life Lesson Mess-Ups   Add to wiki
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Tags: Tim Allen, Comedy, Tim Taylor, Toolman, Home Improvement, TV, show, funny, proverbs, life lessons, Funny, Tim, Taylor, Moral, Quotes, MessUps, Home, Improvement

Tim always messes up his neighbor Wilson's proverbs and life lessons when he tries to repeat them. Here are some funny examples:

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  • "Don't juckopose anything in a macroscope in this universe."
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  • Well this ancient Chinese ice-cream salesman, Yung Su, found that frozen frogs and wet insects couldn't talk cuz they were colder'n one another.
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  • Are you saying that a Rambler could hook bumpers with a Ferrari?
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  • If your dream is to work with nuts, you might as well go back to the world of macademia
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  • Its like the Roman guy Apricot said, if you roam around with architects - buy rocks, put 'em in the sand, and you'll understand.
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  • Apparently he listed to an old rotary named Sonoco, who said, life isn't really worth living if you have to pay for electricity while you're in Rome.
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  • Its like Bat Masterson said, "You can't get obsessed the way old people drive through water, if their servants are on fire."
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  • Well this ancient Chinese ice cream salesman, Yung Zu, found that frozen frogs and wet insects couldn't talk cause they were cold to one another.
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  • I'm reminded of what the great astronaut Wally Cleaver said, "You cant expect your son to his home and eat a foot-long gyro with using Prussian dressing."
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  • I came from a family of all boys. We were very clear about our emotional seperations. I hit my brother, he cries... I can't explain it, you have to read the book "Hey Mom, I'm Selfish"
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  • I think I know why you want a baby... You wanna be immortal like me... Long after I'm gone, the boys will still be burping.
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  • It's like this man Hindu Stan... he never competed with his brother Hindu Bob.
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  • Now I know how bad Wilson felt when he took his Mexican radishes and left the zoo.
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  • If all you know is termites, don't go singing in Cocomo!

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