Lewis McDonald Grizzard, Jr. (October 20, 1946 - March 20, 1994) was an American writer and humorist. He was a newspaper writer and sports editor at the Atlanta Journal. His first job in the newspaper business was at a small paper in in Athens, Georgia. He mostly known for his humorous columns in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution and his books including Southern by the Grace of God, I Haven’t Understood Anything since 1962, and Chili Dawgs Always Bark at Night. Here are few of my favorite Lewis Grizzard quotes

  1. Real estate agents are God's plague on mankind when locusts are out of season.
  2. Life is like a dog-sled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
  3. Yankees ain't real sure how smart we are. Cause we talk slowly, and move slowly. They don't know we thinkin' all that time.
  4. There's no such thing as being too Southern.
  5. “I don’t think I’ll get married again. I’ll just find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.”
  6. Why do service stations lock the bathroom door but leave the cash register unlocked?"
  7. "There is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to get a hamburger that was cooked for ninety seconds an hour ago."
  8. "Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck."
  9. Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.
  10. Don't bend over in the garden granny, them taters gots eyes