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Biggest Dumbasses in Super Bowl History
SILLY 
Tags: Super Bowl, moments, dumb, stupid, ass, idiots, morons, top 10, top 5, worst, SuperBowl, football, NFL
You won't believe the ass these people made of themselves on the biggest sports stage in the world:
| 1. | Eugene Robinson - Robinson has a fine dumbass hero story for setting the world record for the biggest reversal of public opinion in a 24 hour period. Long known for his good Samaritan ways, Eugene was granted the Bart Starr Award for "high moral character" the day before the Super Bowl. Later that same night, he offered an undercover lover $40 bucks for a hummer. As if that wasn't bad enough, Robinson proceeded to get burned deep by Rod Smith for an 80 yard TD and miss a key tackle on a Terrell Davis breakaway run into the red zone. As expected, Robinson wasn't exactly the toast of the town after that 24 hour life-destroyer. |
| 2. | Phil McConkey - McConkey is the first real Super Bowl hero I remember all the kids wanting to be on the field at recess in about the third grade. There was literally fights over who got to be McConkey. The funny thing about it was that we had no idea that he wasn't really very good. He kind of just groveled the whole game for a garbage time Super Bowl TD and then caught a lucky one that deflected off Bavaro's fingertips. He was smart about it though. He got his little taste of fame and rode it - although it's hard to tell if whether or not it helped him in his later ventures. Regardless, never underestimate our man McConkey, he'll take on anybody. |
| 3. | Johnny Unitas - Unitas is an interesting breed of hero, because by hero we we mean he fucking sucked. In his Super Bowl V victory, Unitas went 3-9, 88 yards, 0 TD, 2 interceptions in 16-13 win over Cowboys. He is the lowest rated winning quarterback in the history of the Super Bowl. But it's like our good friends at the MSM always say, "He just wins football games." |
| 4. | The Buffalo Bills Offense - You all probably recall the fact that Buffalo got beat badly in Super Bowl XXVII against the Cowboys, 52-17 to be exact, but did you remember that the Bills had 9 fucking turnovers? It's probably time to think about some adjustments after the first 7 turnovers, no? |
| 5. | William "The Refrigerator" Perry - Everybody knows the '85 Bears. They are oft included in conversations about the best teams of all time. Anyone who has ever played a video game knows this all too well - Mike Singletary and Richard Dent are unstoppable. The Bears were also morons though. Not only did they do the terrible Super Bowl Shuffle, but why would anyone hand the ball to a 300 pound lardass on the goal line (of a Super Bowl) when you have Walter Payton? I guess Ditka thought that was a good strategy at the time, but around here it's called braindead. For that, the Fridge scored and will know live on in infamy as the the doughiest player ever to score a rushing touchdown. |
| 6. | Leon Lett - Maybe the greatest unsung hero in Super Bowl history is that fast little fucker, Don Beebe. Beebe made Leon Lett look like the biggest assclown of all time when he zoomed from behind on Lett's fumble recovery - complete with premature ejaculation celebration- and popped the ball out into the endzone for a touchback. You gotta love the highlight reel sound effect "bloop" whenever they replay this classic Super Bowl moment. That's called "Onomatopoeia" kids. |
| 7. | The Ice Box - The Ice Box was the greatest unsung hero in Bud Bowl history. If my memory serves me, the Ice Box came off the bench in for Budwesier in Bud Bowl III to pull of a come from behind victory. I can't locate any visual evidence, but I believe he was a 22 ounce bottle of suds that steamrolled everything in his path. We haven't seen or heard from the Ice Box since, but his Bud Bowl efforts will never be forgotten. OK, that's a total lie. I actually have no idea what Bud Bowl he was in, I just vaguely remember there was something called the Ice Box in one of them. In fact, I cannot find a single piece of living proof that the Ice Box wasn't just a figment of my imagination. |
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