| | "The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli." - George |
| | "Get out!" - Elaine |
| | "Elaine, want to touch golden boy?!" - Jerry |
| | "It's like a sauna in here." - Kramer |
| | "No soup for you! Come back, one year!" - Soup Nazi |
| | "It's not a lie, if you believe." - George |
| | "Hello, Newman." - Jerry |
| | "Everything I've ever done or said is the complete opposite of what I've wanted." - George |
| | "Hello, Jerry." - Newman |
| | "I know the chunky that left these chunkies... NEWMAN!" - Jerry |
| | "This crest has a moose on it!" - Jerry |
| | "I drive them to lesbianism, he brings 'em back." - George |
| | "Worlds are colliding!! George is gettin very upset!!" - George |
| | "Helloooooo, I got beamed with a giant ball of oil. I'm slippery as an eel....la la la" - Jerry, George, Kramer |
| | "You suffer for your soup." - Kramer |
| | "I don't have a square to spare." - Elaine |
| | "These pretzels are making me thirsty!" - Kramer, George, Jerry, Elaine |
| | "Jimmy's going into shock!" - Jimmy |
| | "I'm out there Jerry, and I'm lovin' it!" - Kramer |
| | "The wheels are in motion, he said. But there was no motion. He is a very bad man." - Baboo |
| | "I don't wanna wear the ribbon!" - Kramer |
| | "You're killing independent George!" - George |
| | "When this wedding is postponed, it's like a stay of execution!" - George |
| | "I can't carry a pen, I'm afraid it'll puncture my scrotum." - George |
| | "That is one magic loogie." - Jerry |
| | "It's not a pick!" - Jerry |
| | "A gift that isn't enjoyed is like a flower that doesn't blossom." - Kramer |
| | "I don't want to be remembered, I want to be forgotten." - George |
| | "This is beyond B.O., this is is B.B.O.!" - George |
| | "Pulp can move, baby!" - George |
| | "Knowing you is like going into the jungle, I don't know what I'll find next, and I'm real scared." - Jerry |
| | "You know what you are? You're a ribbon bully!" - Kramer |
| | "I just thought of a great name for myself if I ever become a porno actor." - George |
| | "I was in the pool! I was in the pool!" - George |
| | "I'm not sure and correct me if I'm wrong, but I think I see a nipple." - Jerry |
| | "We're not gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that." - Jerry |
| | "Well, I uh, I'm sure how you prononce it or anything, but I believe it's menage-atwa." - George |
| | "Who's going to turn down a junior mint? It's chocolate, it's pepermint, it's delicious. It's very refreshing." - Kramer |
| | "I am not an animal!" - Jerry |
| | "But are you still master of your domain?" - Jerry |
| | "Do nothin. Fall ass backwards into money, mooch food off your neighbors, and have sex without dating." - George |
| | "Ay yeah, Doctor Cosmo Kramer, Proctology." - Kramer |
| | "You're through soup nazi. Back it up. No more soup for you. Next!" - Elaine |
| | "Now you listen to me. I want details and I want them right now. I don't have a job. I have no place to go. You're not in the mood. Well, you get in the mood!" - George |
| | "I'm an architect." - George |
| | "Well I can't go back to the public courses now! I can't! I WON'T!" - Kramer |
| | "I won't tolerate infestation!" - Frank Costanza |
| | "Gotta love the Drake!" - Elaine and Jerry |
| | "Giddy-up!" - Kramer |
| | "People love to say salsa!" - Jerry |
| | "I'm a great quitter. I come from a long line of quitters. I was raised to give up." - George |
| | "Maybe the dingo ate your baby." - Elaine |
| | "Poppy peed on my new sofa!" - Jerry |
| | "I choose not to run!" - Jerry |
| | "Maybe the dingo ate your baby!" - Elaine |
| | "I'm out! Yeah, I'm out of the contest." - Kramer |
| | "For I am Costanza, Lord of the Idiots." - George |
| | "Cause I'm like ice, buddy, if I don't like you, you've got problems." - Kramer |
| | "When you control the mail, you control information!" - Newman |
| | "But I don't wanna be a pirate!" - Jerry |
| | "I second-hand smoke two packs of cigarettes a day." - Jerry |
| | "I'm Cosmo Kramer, the assman." - Kramer |
| | "A Bra is for ladies, meet the Bro." - Kramer |
| | "Now we know that you'll be going to hell no more than 3 miles per hour!" - Jerry |
| | "Vault's not good, too many people know the combination" - Jerry |
| | "If it were sociably acceptable, I would drape myself in velvet." - George |
| | "Kramer goes to a fantasy camp. His whole life is a fantasy." - George |
| | "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think I see a nipple." - Jerry |
| | "You can stuff your sorries in a sack." - George |
| | "And you figured, what the hell, I'll eat some trash." - Jerry |
| | "I'm lactose intolerant. I have no patience for lactose and I won't stand for it." - Jerry |
| | "Serenity Now!" - Frank Costanza |
| | "I don't see how you guys walk around with those things." - Elaine |
| | "I had a dream last night that a hamburger was eating me." - Jerry |
| | "Festives for the rest of us." - Frank Costanza |
| | "You double dipped the chip." - Timmy |
| | "That's just kooky talk." - Kramer |
| | "That's a shame!" - Jerry |
| | "Believe it or not George isn't at home. Please leave a message at the beep. I must be out or I'd pick up the phone. Where could I be? Believe it or not, I'm not home." - George |
| | "And you want to be my latex salesman. I don't think so!" - Jerry |
| | "Significant shrinkage." - George |
| | "Like the half soused night club crowd that laps up your inane observations." - Newman |
| | "You and your goodtime friends." - Det. Bookman |
| | "Is it possible that I am not as attractive as I think I am?" - Elaine |
| | "I'm a good dancer....right?" - Elaine |
| | "Here's to those who wish us well and those who don't, can go to hell. Alright who's dancin'? Alright you want me to get it started? You want me to? Ok, I'll get it started. Whoo!" - Elaine |
| | "I'm Ms. Ribble." - Elaine |
| | "That's no signal.Who wouldn't like me in this leotard? I look amazing in this leotard." - Elaine |
| | "So you're not in the habit of giving to blind people. Not bills." - Jerry and George (jason_graff@hms.harvard.edu)(Jason Graff) |
| | "You sold us a hair with a cake around it." - Elaine |
| | "Yo yo ma." - Kramer |
| | "I think it moved!" - George |
| | "You're giving me the 'It's not you . . . it's me' routine. I invented 'It's not you . . . it's me'. Nobody tells me it's them not me. If it's anybody, it's me!" - George |
| | "You know who you are. Even Steven!" - Kramer |
| | "War, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing! Ho!" - Elaine |
| | "Yankee beans, Yankee beans. I like my Yankee beans." - Elaine |
| | "In fact, I hate anyone that ever had a pony when they were growing up." - Jerry |
| | "You have no idea!" - Kramer |
| | "Oh Moses smell the roses." - Jerry |
| | "Hoochie Mama!" - Kramer |
| | "Oh, help me Rhonda!" - Jerry |
| | "It's gold Jerry. Gold!" - Bania |
| | "Look away. I'm hideous." - Kramer |
| | "Jimmy crack corn and I don't care!" - George |
| | "Butros, Butros, Gahli!" - Jerry |
| | "I think it moved" - George |
| | "I'm a gay man. I'm exceedingly gay" - George |
| | "Mulva?" - George |
| | "Do women know about shrinkage?" - George |
| | "My name is George, I'm unemployed, and I live with my parents" - George |
| | "We have to have sex to save the friendship" - Jerry |
| | "If it's in the garbage, it's garbage" - Jerry |
| | "And you want to be my latex salesman" - Jerry |
| | "Not that there's anything wrong with that" - Jerry |
| | "OK, let's go, you've got 30 minutes." - Elaine |
| | "Ya gotta love the Drake" - Elaine |
| | "And what about the sideburns?" - Elaine |
| | "Fake! Fake! Fake! Fake! Fake!" - Elaine |
| | "I'm out" - Kramer |
| | "My boys are free and lovin' it" - Kramer |
| | "Step off George. Step off." - Tony & Elaine |
| | "We're comfortable with our bodies" - Kramer and Newman. |
| | "Give me that rye, you old hag." - Jerry |
| | "They' re real and they're spectacular." - Sidra |
| | "Don't you see? No boxers, No Jockeys. The only thing between him and us is a thin layer of Gaberdeen." - Jerry |
| | "He took it out!" - Elaine |
| | "Oh yes, the jerk store called, they're running low on you!" - George. |
| | "That's not funny, how about 'your cranium called...it has space for rent!" - Elaine |
| | "Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason." - Jerry |
| | "Well the jerkk store called and they're running out you!" - George |
| | "Your face is my case." - Jackie |
| | "What the hell is that suposed to mean?" - Frank Costanza |
| | "But it was in pen....you fake erase!" - Elaine |
| | "Oh I'm stressed alright." - Jerry |
| | "Please Jerry, I don't ask you for much." - Kramer |
| | "Hey Babe." - Puddy |
| | "From what I heard, the Serbs are fanatics about their showers." - Newman |
| | "All I heard growing up was-why can't you be like Lloyd Braun?" - George |
| | "Rusty Rusty!" - Kramer |
| | "Jerry hello!" - Uncle Leo |
| | "Oh yeah Reilly. Well i had sex with your wife." - George |
| | "If you look at it, manuer isn't such a bad word. You got the nuer and the ma in front of it. Manuer."- George |
| | "Lupus? Is it Lupus?" - George |
| | "Stella! Stella!" - Elaine |
| | "I've yada yada'd sex....Yeah. I met this lawyer, we went out to dinner, I had the lobster bisk, we went back to my place, yada yada yada, I never heard from him again....No, I mentioned the bisque." Elaine |
| | "Yada yada yada." - Jerry, Elaine, George, & Kramer |
| | "My wife has an inner ear infection. I like that." - Kramer |
| | "It's goin to be the summer of George!" - George |
| | "Cat fight!" - Kramer |
| | "My Little Jerry!!!" - Kramer |
| | "GiDY YuP!!!" - Kramer (MoZeZ 333@aol.com) |
| | "Jerry was necking during Schindler's List." - Mrs. Seinfeld |
| | "There's a naked woman across the street." - Kramer |
| | "I'm out!" - Kramer |
| | "I don't think ya do!" - Jerry |
| | "Jerry this is Frank Costanza. Mr. Steinbrenner's here. George is dead. Call me back. BEEEEEP." - Jerry |
| | "Worlds are colliding!! George is gettin very upset!!" - George |
| | "That's A Shame" - Jerry |
| | "You want a piece of me?...YOU GOT IT!" - Frank |
| | "I've yada yada'd sex!" - Elaine |
| | "Stella!!" - Elaine |
| | "High five!! On the flip side." - Elaine |
| | "There's no laws in this place! ANYTHING goes! It's THUNDERDOME!!!" - George |
| | "Kramer you threw a banana peal at a monkey? Well he started it! - Kramer & Jerry |
| | "We can see each other, we can see each other everyday, that doesn't mean we're back together." - Elaine |
| | "Well, I'd watch the third base coach if I were you cause I don't think he's waving you in." - Elaine |
| | "Oh I'm stressed" - Jerry |
| | "He took it out." - Elaine |
| | "I'm Cosmo Kramer, the ASSMAN!" - Kramer |
| | "Coughing! Naked! It's a turnoff man!" - Jerry |
| | "There's good naked and there's bad naked" - Jerry |
| | "I'm losin it! - George |
| | "OK, we're broken up for the rest of the day." - Elaine |
| | "I'll tell you a little secret about zip codes. They're meaningless." - Newman |
| | "So she didn't appreciate the erotic qualities of the salted cured meats." - Jerry |
| | "He's poor" - Elaine |
| | "Your living in the Playboy mansion!" - George |
| | "She's got man hands." - Jerry |
| | "He's a re-gifter." - Elaine |
| | "She's a 2-face." - George |
| | "She's a virgin." - Jerry |
| | "She eats her peas, one at a time." - Jerry |
| | "She just took credit for my salad!" - George |
| | "He's a male bimbo, he's a mimbo." - George |
| | "He's a bad breaker upper." - Elaine |
| | "She went out with Newman." - Jerry |
| | "She wasn't my type." - Newman |
| | "They're real, and thy're spectacular." - Sidra |
| | "You can stick your sorries in a sack mister." - George |
| | "I can't be with someone like me. i hate myself!" -Jerry |
| | "The little man knows all." - Kramer |
| | "I had a dream last night that a hamburger was eating ME!" - Jerry |
| | "You're freaking me out!" - Kramer |
| | "Jerk store would have smoked that guy!" - George |
| | "Is it anything like hiting a homer in baseball because I hit a whopper last week." - Jerry |
| | "I chose not to run!" - Jerry |
| | "All right, I'll do it!" - Jerry |
| | "Do you know what it's like to save someone's life?" |
| | "The little man knows all!" - Kramer |
| | "My little mans an idiot." - George |
| | "No more Koko!" - George |
| | "You got a question, you ask the 8-ball." - Puddy |
| | "You're a cashier!" |
| | "Don't you see what Whatley is after? Total joke telling immunity. He's already got two religions covered. If he ever gets Polish citizenship, there'll be no stopping him." - Jerry |
| | "Believe it or not george isn't at home please leave a message at the beep i must be out or i'd pick up the phone where could i be believe it or not i'm not home." - George |
| | "Thats ALOT of potatoes." - Kramer |
| | "Hoochie Mama." - Frank Costanza |
| | "You got a question, you ask the 8-ball." - Puddy |
| | "Mr. Marbles?" - Jerry |
| | "They're real and they're spectactor." - Sidra |
| | Elaine: So what your saying is that 95% of our population is undatable? |
| | Jerry: UNDATABLE! |
| | Elaine: then how are all of these people getting together? |
| | Jerry: Alcohol |
| | |
| | "My guys don't know your guys." - Jerry |
| | "The M and M should be you." - Jerry |
| | "Celebrate the millennium with Newmanium!" - Newman |
| | "Jerry, I just saw a pigman, a PIGMAN!!" - Kramer |
| | "Damn Moyel, circumsized my finger! The Moyel circumsized my finger!" - Jerry |
| | "My name is George, I'm unemployed and I live with my parents." - George |
| | "I'm Victoria, hi." - Victoria |
| | "Let me ask you something. What do you do for a living, Newman?" - Jerry |
| | "I'm a United States Postal Worker." - Newman |
| | "Aren't those the guys that always go crazy and come back with a gun and shoot everybody?" George |
| | "Sometimes." - Newman |
| | "Why is that?" - George |
| | "Work? It's raining. I called in sick. I don't work in the rain." - Newman |
| | "A coffee table book about coffee tables." - Kramer |
| | (When Kramer was cooking his clothes) |
| | "What the hell is this?" - George |
| | "Kramer's cooking up some courdroys." - Jerry |
| | "Well, I'm not an idiot!" - Kramer |
| | "Well, see there are many difference between American Soviet cultures that you're not aware of. Ya see in Russia, the cable guy...he's got the whole run of the house. Yeah, that's tradition." |
| | "I don't like coffee. I don't have to come up. I'd like to get another shot at the coffee just so I can spit it in your face." - George |
| | "You think I'm some sort of a loser that likes to be abused and ignored? Whose shirt can be runied?...WITHOUT FINANCIAL RESTITUTION?" - George |
| | "Where are we going? A little place I like to call 'you'll see'" - Kramer |
| | "The busboys' coming. The busboys' coming." - Kramer |
| | "I saw the look on your face last week when I took the scotch tape." - Jack Klompus |
| | Oh, so YOU took the scotch tape." - Morty Seinfeld |
| | "High, on the flip side!" - Puddy |
| | "Who could love me?" - Kramer |
| | "You should have lied." - George |
| | "The would pick her up in about ten minutes." - Jerry |
| | "The man is a goblin." - Jackie |
| | "You have crossed the line between man and bum. You are now a bum." - Jerry |
| | "Women don't respect salad eaters." - Jerry |
| | "So you feel in this day and age 'women and children first' is an antiquated notion." - Jerry |
| | "Hellooooooooooooo! La la la." - Jerry |
| | "I'm so keen-o on beeferino. What a delicious cuisine-o? Fit for king and queen-o!" - Kramer |
| | "I'm outed and I was never in!" - Jerry |
| | "A George divided against itself can not stand." - George |
| | "His father was a mudder. His mother was a mudder." - Kramer |
| | "Let's face it, I was always handicapped. I'm just now getting credit for it." - George |
| | "The fish, these fish are dying!" - Elaine |
| | "For me the next millennium must be Jerry-free." - Newman |
| | "Damn, the mail is slow." - Newman |
| | "The speed dial is like a relationship barometer." - Jerry |
| | "You stole my Jesus fish." - Puddy |
| | "When you control the mail, you control information"! - Newman |
| | "Excellent, excellent." - Newman |
| | "Who's going to turn down a junior mint? It's chocolate, it's minty, it's very refreshing!" - Kramer |
| | "Isn't the opposite of good bye, bad bye?" - Elaine |
| | "It must have been...LOST IN THE MAIL!" - Newman |
| | "I see a very cheap man holding a sweater trying to get away with something. That's my overview." - Jerry |
| | "Boxers! How do you wear these things? Look, theyre baggin' up, they're ridin' in here! And there's nothin' holdin' me in place, i'm flippin im floppin!" - Kramer |
| | "I'll handle this Violet. Why don't you take your 3 hour break"? - Newman |
| | "He's not idiotic! He's the Wiz. Nobody beats him! Nobody"! - Elaine |
| | "Of all the pictures I've seen of immigrants coming into New York Harbor, I never saw one sitting on a pony" - Jerry |