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Charlie Harper Quotes: "A clueless woman is a happy woman."   Add to wiki
AMUSING Wiki List

Tags: Two, Half Men, Charlie Harper, Charlie Sheen, Sheen, quotes, said, funny, amusing, LOL, Two and a Half Men, CBS, TV, show, comedy

Charlie Harper is the character from the CBS TV sitcom, "Two and a Half Men," played by Charlie Sheen. Here are some of his most memorable quotes:

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  • [Alan is supposed to have a colonoscopy, and is very worried about it] Count your blessings; in the old days, they had to send a sketch-artist up there.
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  • [making a deal with Alan while standing at a urinal] Want to shake on it?
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  • A clueless woman is a happy woman.
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  • Bought some hamburgers, Bought the hats; ate the hamburgers, wearing the hats.
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  • Drugs! Get me drugs!
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  • Fine, mask it! Give it a cape and let it fight crime, I don't give a damn!
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  • He chewed her up and spit her out.
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  • Hey, I get enough of that crap from my mother.
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  • How did you get in my house?
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  • I didn't name her that. I just spread it around. Hey, be sure to keep her off the rug.
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  • I have my moments, but they're getting farther apart.
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  • I just had lunch with my mother and my stalker... We spent the afternoon eating off each other's plates and discussing my fear of intimacy.
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  • I remember your high school friend Jamie Eckleberry. We used to call her Eckleberry Hound.
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  • In people or dog years? Look, I'll be nice. I'll say hello... then scratch behind her ears.
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  • I'll admit you're kookie Judith. But compared to our mother you're like a fart in a hurricane.
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  • People who live in fat asses shouldn't throw waffles.
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  • Secret elixir, huh? Well, I'm usually more of a bourbon guy but when push comes to shove I don't know what the hell's in that either.
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  • The kid plays, and I have a date. Everybody wins.
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  • Well it doesn't matter if you win or lose; it's whether or not you beat the spread.
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  • Why don't you make like a hockey player, and get the puck out of here.
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  • Yeah, but who you are, couldn't get laid under water, with a tank full of oxygen.
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  • You know, it wouldn't kill you to talk to Mom once in a while.

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    Comments:

    Those quotes are really nice.. I too have a nice list of <a href="http://two-and-a-half-men.download-tvshows.com/memorable-quotes">two and a half men memorable quotes</a> to share with u..
    Comment by: jenifer111

    http://two-and-a-half-men.download-tvshows.com/memorable-quotes
    Comment by: jenifer111

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