| | 10. "Howard the Duck" (1986, Universal) |
| | Budget: $37 million |
| | U.S. Box Office: $16 million |
| | The Plot: Based on Steve Gerber's '70s Marvel comic-book character and executive produced by George Lucas, this charmless, pun-filled fowl-fest centers on a smart-aleck quacker from another planet who's accidentally beamed into Cleveland, where he hooks up with punk rocker Lea Thompson, battles various villains using "quack-fu," and saves the planet. |
| | 9. "Hudson Hawk" (1991, Columbia TriStar) |
| | Budget: $60 million-plus |
| | U.S. Box Office: $17.2 million |
| | The Plot: A reformed cat burglar (Bruce Willis, who also co-wrote) is blackmailed into stealing priceless Leonardo da Vinci artifacts. The heist flick features Willis and fellow thief Danny Aiello warbling ditties such as "Swingin' on the Star," which might explain this piece of dialogue: "I'll torture you so long, you'll think it's a career." |
| | 8. "Ishtar" (1987, Columbia) |
| | Budget: $55 million |
| | U.S. Box Office: $12.7 million |
| | The Plot: Warren Beatty and Dustin Hoffman insult the memory of the Bob Hope-Bing Crosby "Road" movies in this Elaine May-directed desert-set tale of two supremely untalented singer-songwriters who land a Moroccan gig but make a pit stop in the fictional kingdom of Ishtar. Soon, they're embroiled in an extremely volatile Middle East political situation, which, if possible, is even less funny now than it was then. |
| | 7. "Inchon" (1981)/"Battlefield Earth" (2000, Warner Bros. Pictures) |
| | Budget: $50 million/$73 million |
| | U.S. Box Office: $1.9 million/$21.5 million |
| | The Plot: A truly dire moment in the Laurence Olivier oeuvre, "Inchon" finds the famed thespian committing multiple dramatic atrocities as he channels Gen. Douglas MacArthur in this failed Korean War epic. In "Battlefield Earth," it's the year 3000 and humans are slaves. In the campiest performance this side of a Judy Garland imitator, John Travolta plays a dreadlocked, platform-shoed 7-foot alien baddie named Terl, who was "groomed from birth to conquer galaxies." Too bad he wasn't groomed to conquer the box office. |
| | 6. "Cleopatra" (1963, 20th Century Fox) |
| | Budget: $44 million ($259 million today) |
| | U.S. Box Office: $26 million ($153 million today) |
| | The Plot: Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton begin an adulterous on-set affair that turns into a worldwide media sensation. Oh, the plot of the movie. Once billed as the most expensive film of all time (and might still be champion), this Joseph Mankiewicz-directed historical costume epic stars Taylor as Cleopatra and Burton as Marc Anthony. There are some truly amazing sets and a cast of thousands (literally). |
| | 5. "Heaven's Gate" (1980, United Artists) |
| | Budget: $44 million |
| | U.S. Box Office: $3 million |
| | The Plot: If you can untangle the epic plot, give yourself a prize. This much we know: Michael Cimino directed this Western based on the 19th-century Johnson County wars. It stars Kris Kristofferson, Christopher Walken, John Hurt, Sam Waterston and Isabelle Huppert. Beyond that, you're on your own. |
| | 4. "The Postman" (1997, Warner Bros.) |
| | Budget: $80 million to $100 million |
| | U.S. Box Office: $17.6 million |
| | The Plot: In a post-apocalyptic future, a Shakespeare-quoting mail carrier (Costner, who also directed) leads mankind to rebel against its oppressors. A grateful nation repays the messiah-like postal worker by erecting a massive statue in his image. Is it any wonder audiences guffawed at the riotously earnest trailer, which contained such clunkers as, "I don't think we ever really understood what letters meant to us until they were gone." |
| | 3. "Town & Country" (2001, New Line) |
| | Budget: $85 million to $90 million |
| | U.S. Box Office: $6.7 million |
| | The Plot: Peter Chelsom, who previously helmed the Sharon Stone dud "The Mighty," directs this middle-aged sex comedy starring Warren Beatty and Garry Shandling as very married men caught cheating on their wives (Diane Keaton and Goldie Hawn). |
| | 2. "Cutthroat Island" (1995, MGM/Carolco) |
| | Budget: $100 million-plus |
| | U.S. Box Office: $9.9 million |
| | The Plot: A swashbuckling Geena Davis hits the high seas opposite Matthew Modine in a pirate movie directed by Renny Harlin. 'Nuff said. |
| | 1. "The Adventures of Pluto Nash" (2002, Warner Bros.) |
| | Budget: $90 million to $100 million |
| | U.S. Box Office: $4.4 million |
| | The Plot: Eddie Murphy is a suave nightclub owner tussling with the mob. Oh yeah, it's the year 2087, and his bar is on the moon. |