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Lewis Black Quotes
AMUSING 
Tags: Lewis Black, comedian, funny quotes
Black is a somewhat controversial comedian because he seems to be a rather...angry performer...he's still pretty funny though.
| | “In my lifetime, we've gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We've gone from John F. Kennedy to Al Gore. If this is evolution, I believe that in twelve years, we'll be voting for plants.” |
| | “A republican stands up in congress and says 'I GOT A REALLY BAD IDEA!!' and the democrat stands up after him and says 'AND I CAN MAKE IT SHITTIER!!'” |
| | “There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.” |
| | "Candy Corn is the only candy in the history of America that's never been advertised. And there's a reason. All of the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911." |
| | "You don't want another Enron? Here's your law: If a company can't explain in ONE SENTENCE what it does....it's illegal." |
| | "I do have certain feelings. My feeling is that whoever is in charge, I want him out." |
| | "If the people of New Zealand want to be a part of our world, I believe they should hop off their islands, and push 'em closer." |
| | "And then there's the Homeland Security system, they had it color-coded, like we're in fucking elementery school! Simplify it, there should be just three levels of security; Jesus Christ, Goddammit, FUCK ME!" |
| | "It was a really special winter wasn't it?... if you're a fucking moose! If you've got fur on your nuts it's been a fucking festival!" |
| | "I'm always amazed when I hear people saying; 'That George Bush, he's a great leader'. And I wonder, where can one find a drug that would make one so delusional?" |
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