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The International Council of Man By- Laws - or Unless you are in prison, Never fight naked
INFORMATIVE 
Tags: relationships, men, dating, marriage, women, love
The “ficticious” ???? International Council of Man is circulating information regarding their new bylaws. You may recall the ICM, as they made the press earlier this year with their observations regarding guts and balls.. We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But there seems to be widespread confusion between the two. For the record the ICM states the difference as: ….GUTS is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and asking, "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"
BALLS is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife square on the ass and saying, "You're next, fatty!"…………………………………………………………………………………….. Below, find the bylaws. They are asking for folks to comment on this list if you are interested in adding new official bylaws..
| 1. | Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. |
| 2. | It is OK for a man to cry only under the following circumstances: (a) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.(b) After wrecking your boss's car. (c) a heroic dog dies to save its master.(d) She is using her teeth. |
| 3. | When Any man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his friends. |
| 4. | If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her. |
| 5. | Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However, you may complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable. |
| 6. | No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your pal's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice. |
| 7. | In the mini-bus, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest. |
| 8. | When stumbling upon other men watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing. |
| 9. | You may fart in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment (commonly known as a Dutch oven), she's officially your girlfriend. |
| 10. | It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach AND it's delivered by a topless model AND only when it's free. |
| 11. | Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts. |
| 12. | Unless you're in prison, never fight naked. |
| 13. | Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. |
| 14. | If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything. |
| 15. | Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers. |
| 16. | A man in the company of a hot, suggestively-dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight. |
| 17. | Feel free to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy. |
| 18. | If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer. |
| 19. | Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, unless she's withholding sex pending your response. |
| 20. | Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing, e.g. both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need. |
| 21. | Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary. |
| 22. | If you find yourself feeling weird and guilty the morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have drunken monkey sex, is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion begins about what a big mistake it was. |
| 23. | It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours. |
| 24. | Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange, or sky blue. |
| 25. | The girl who replies to the question, "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets a Sony Playstation. End of story. |
| 26. | There is no reason for guys to watch either Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. |
Lister:
TrailerGuyBob
Source:
International Council of Man
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