| | Well I'm guessing he wants to do a little dance... You know make a little love... Well pretty much get down tonight... |
| | All right, look if you absolutely have to tell her the truth, at least wait until the timing's right. And that's what deathbeds are for. |
| | You have to stop the Q-Tip when there's resistance. |
| | Okay, but you'll have to give it back when I get a job. Of course, by then, ties will be obsolete and we'll all be wearing silver jumpsuits. |
| | I'll make something up. I'm good at lying. I actually did borrow your Walkman. |
| | Hey, you know what you should do? Take her back to the 1800's when that phrase was last used. |
| | Hey, remember when I had corneas? |
| | I can handle this. "Handle" is my middle name. Actually, "handle" is the middle of my first name. |
| | The Bings have horrible marriages. They yell. They fight. And they use the pool boy as a pawn in their sexual games. |
| | No, no, no. This isn't out of the blue. This is smack dab in the middle of the blue. |
| | Can you see my nipples through this shirt? |
| | Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian...Did I say that out loud? |
| | Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. |
| | Well, I don't know what Big Leon told you but it's an even thousand if you want me for the whole night. |
| | Hey, you know, I have had it with you guys and your "cancer" and your "emphysema" and your "heart disease." The bottom line is smoking is cool and you know it. |
| | Oh man. In my next life I'm comin' back as a toilet brush. |
| | Eww, Lambchop. How old is that sock? If I had a sock in my hand for thirty years it'd be talking too. |
| | Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him. Do you think that was wrong? |
| | All right, I took the quiz, and it turns out, I do put career before men. |
| | I'm not worried, I'm uh, I'm fascinated. Y'know it's like uh, Biology. Which is funny because in high school I uh, I-I failed Biology and tonight Biology failed me |
| | Ew, ew, ew, ew ew ew ew ew. Ugly Naked Guy got a Thighmaster. |
| | That's great. Last year I got the gift of space. We should get together and make a continuum. |
| | We loved Schteve. Schteve was schexy. |
| | Hello, Dennis. Thank you for pleasing my mother so. |
| | I thought a heart attack was nature's way of telling you to die. |
| | Three failed marriages, two illegitimate children... The personal ad writes itself. |
| | quotes found from www.imdb.com |