| | I should have said something earlier... but I really, really need his kidney. |
| | Down in front! |
| | Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleon. |
| | Better him than me. |
| | Pick it up - I've got Jazzercise at four. |
| | Whoa. I didn't know we were supposed to dress up. |
| | Hey, let's order a pizza! |
| | These pants sure do ride up... |
| | You look like you've seen a ghost. |
| | Boy, you wouldn't believe the day I'm having. |
| | Do you validate? |
| | Where's the buffet line? |
| | Did he pay you to come, too? |
| | Aw, shut up, Padre! |
| | Who's the dead guy? |
| | Pull my finger. |
| | I just wet myself. |
| | He was impotent, you know. |
| | Well, the fact remains he bounced a check to my firm. |
| | Is that my beeper - or is he still wearing his? |
| | Yahtzee! |
| | I want a second opinion. |
| | See, kids? This is what God does to the bad ones. |
| | How much for the long black coffee table? |
| | Can I put my drink here? |
| | Get up, Jimmy! It's not funny anymore! |
| | Would you mind if I squeezed his pimple? |
| | Eeewwww! What cheap flowers! |
| | Who wants Trident? |
| | Is the karoake after this part? |
| | If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands! |
| | And to think I postponed vacuuming my car for this. |
| | He won't be needing that tie anymore, will he? |
| | Got any smack? |
| | He looks so peaceful... you'd never know he's burning in Hell right now. |
| | Did you know his legs aren't really in there? |
| | I could go for some flan right about now. |
| | This is duller than Incredible Universe, but you don't have to walk as much. |
| | I'm not getting any aura off him at all. |
| | Does anyone have dibs on his parking space? |
| | Lookit all that nose hair! Gross! |
| | First time in years I've seen him with his hair combed. |
| | That's the jacket he wore to his Junior Prom! |
| | I think you should know... I'm carrying his seed. |
| | Anybody home? |
| | Stand back - I know CPR! |
| | Which way to the Dunk Tank? |
| | He moved! I saw! |
| | Made you look! |
| | He never liked you. |
| | Good riddance! More Spaghettios for me. |
| | You call this "mourning"? Where's your enthusiasm? |
| | He looks all spongy. |
| | Donkey basketball, anyone? |
| | You're probably wondering why I called you all here tonight. |
| | He always wanted to be buried in taffeta. |
| | Excuse me, you're sitting on my hacky sack. |
| | Well, there's one less Canadian they'll have to kick around. |
| | Pass the pork rinds, Ma. |
| | Crushed velvet makes me so hot! |
| | Put the Ouija board on top of the coffin, and let's get crackin'! |
| | He's wearing "Vernal Noon" from Mary Kay. I'll be taking orders after the internment. |
| | Hey - let's take the funeral procession through the Taco Bell drive-thru! |
| | By the power of Greyskull... |
| | Did you drop this gum? |
| | That veil brings out the tiger in me... g-r-r-r-r-r-r. |
| | I feel like chicken tonight, like chicken tonight... |
| | Stall long enough, and you never have to return their tools. |
| | He's dead, Jim! |
| | Finally, I can get a picture of him with his mouth shut. Say "cheese". |
| | The ground here gets so cold in the winter... here, put this parka on him. |
| | Did you see that hysterical article about the 101 least appropriate things to say at a funeral? |
| | Don't worry, be happy! |
| | This is a direct result of their cancelling "VR.5". |
| | Thank heavens - no more homemade turkey jerky! |
| | Oh my gosh - you mean this isn't the Scientology seminar? |
| | It's about time he quit smoking. |
| | Paper or plastic? |
| | Three more minutes, and the pizza's free! |
| | Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope. |
| | Is that your real hair? |
| | What's that... smell? |
| | Isn't that MacCaulay Culkin? |
| | Code Blue! Stat! |
| | The LOOP killed him, you know. Oliver Stone is pitching the treatment to Touchstone. |
| | Happy trails to you, until we meet again... |
| | At least the value of all that FAL stuff will go through the roof. |
| | Hi, I'm John Tesh. |
| | Ch-ch-ch-chia! |
| | Rayon killed this man. |
| | What a quitter. |
| | Somehow, this all reminds me of sizzling bacon. |
| | Did anybody check his pockets for coupons? |
| | He was a credit to his race. |
| | I can't stand lying anymore... I was his lover! |
| | He kinda looks like the MTV sports guy. |
| | You mean Dan Cortez? |
| | Check, please. |
| | Can I have that Kleenex when you're really done with it? |
| | Another three years, and I would've won the pool. |
| | Stick a fork in him - he's done. |