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Are we old yet... Zipper, hearing, memory and hospital jokes  
FUNNY 

Tags: elderly, growing old, old, doctor, wives

A few jokes from a friend.. Punchlines include. Where's my toast, She's still upstairs in the bathroom and so am I, let's go get a beer!

	Garage Door The boss walked into the office one morning, not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open.His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when youleft your house, did you close your garage door?'The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up.He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.' He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask,When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?' She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old mini van with two flat tires.'
	An elderly gentleman...Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100% The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family.
	Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on abench, under a tree, when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.' 'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?''Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.' I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'
	An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.' The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?' The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... The one that's red and has thorns.' Do you mean a rose?' 'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'
	Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules , he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked if his wife was meeting him.I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'
	Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember. Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up fromhis chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?''Sure.''Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks. 'No, I can remember it.' 'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it?' He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream withstrawberries.'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks. Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!' Then he toddles into the kitchen. After 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands hi
	Three old guys are out walking. First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?' Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!' Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.'
	A man was telling his neighbour, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It'sperfect.' 'Really,' answered the neighbour . 'What kind is it?''Twelve thirty.'

Lister: JokeMan

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