Print
This List
Email to
a Friend
"I will shoot you." Jeff Foxworthy Quotes
FUNNY 
Tags: Jeff Foxworthy, Comedy, Quotes, Words, Said, Saying, Famous, History
Jeff Foxworthy is an American comedian known for his stand-up act "You Might be a Rednick If..." Here are some of his famous quotes.
| | When I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant someone had their rear end hanging out a car window! |
| | On life's list of fun things to do, [visiting my in-laws] comes in somewhere below sitting in a tub full of scissors. |
| | You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more. |
| | You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you. |
| | You Might Be a Redneck If...You own a home that is mobile, and fourteen cars that aren't. |
| | You Might Be a Redneck If...Your ironing board doubles as a buffet table. |
| | You Might Be a Redneck If...Your dad walks you to school because you're in the same grade. |
| | You Might Be a Redneck If...Your underwear doubles as your bathing suit. |
| | You Might Be a Redneck If...You have the electronic singing fish in more than three rooms in your house. |
| | You Might Be a Redneck If...You've ever been too drunk to fish. |
| | You Might Be a Redneck If...You've ever cut your grass and found a car. |
| | You Might Be a Redneck If...An episode of "Walker, Texas Ranger" changed your life. |
| | You Might Be a Redneck If...Your family tree does not fork. |
| | You Might Be a Redneck If...You go to the family reunion to meet women. |
| | You Might Be a Redneck If...You think "fast food" is hitting a deer at 65 miles an hour. |
| | You Might Be a Redneck If...You take your dog for a walk and you both use the tree at the corner. |
| | You Might Be a Redneck If...You've ever worn a tube-top to a funeral home. |
| | You Might Be a Redneck If...You've ever opened a beer during a eulogy. |
| | You Might Be a Redneck If...You've ever ridden an electric floor buffer. |
| | You Might Be a Redneck If...You work without a shirt on... and so does your husband. |
| | You Might Be a Redneck If...You own a Waffle House credit card. |
| | You Might Be a Redneck If...You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of Kmart. |
| | You Might Be a Redneck If...You own a complete set of salad bowls, and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side. |
| | You Might Be a Redneck If...You smoked during your wedding. |
| | You Might Be a Redneck If...Your dog passes gas and you claim it! |
| | You Might Be a Redneck If...Your daughter's Barbie Dream House has a clothesline in the front yard. |
| | You Might Be a Redneck If...You've ever had your nipple bitten off by a beaver. |
| | You Might Be a Redneck If...You've ever made change in the offering plate. |
| | You Might Be a Redneck If...You've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said "concentrate". |
| | You Might Be a Redneck If...You've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't. |
Lister:
ListAfterList Wiki Contributors
Source:
Compiled by LAL
Other lists of interest:
This list not rated yet – be the first to rate it