| | "I love you all; I love you more than life itself, but you're all fucking mad!" |
| | "Bubbles! Oh come on Sharon! I'm fucking Ozzy Osbourne, I'm the Prince of fucking Darkness. Evil! Evil! What's fucking evil about a shitload of bubbles!?" |
| | "We are not going to continue until we hear the fucking roof rattle." |
| | "I like the word fuck. Fucking deal with it and move on to the first fucking question you have." |
| | "Every year I hear, metal is dying. It's been dying since fucking 1978!" |
| | "I push this one button and the shower goes on and I think, where the fuck am I?" |
| | "International rock star - gravy maker extraordinaire." |
| | "You don't need to hire a dog therapist, you just need to wake up at 7 am and open the fucking door!" |
| | "All you have to do is say Fuck Off when the vagina doctor calls." |
| | "Its like Dr. Doolittle in this fucking house here." |
| | "Merry xmas....now fuck off." |
| | "I like warming my butt by the fire." |
| | "I've done a lot worse than jump off piers, son. Like throw a television out the window." |
| | "I like the smell of armpits in the morning. It's like victory." |
| | "I'm not picking up dog shit. I'm a rock star." |
| | "I'm not the greatest singer in the world, but I do give people entertainment." |
| | "I'm the guy kids love and parents hate. The guy mothers love to hate. When you've achieved that, you've achieved a goal." |
| | "My mother was an amateur singer, my father was an amateur drunk." |
| | "My mother said to me, 'Get a proper job. Quit this f--king around.' She still thinks it's a crazy f--king thing I'm doing." |
| | "If I had to start it all over again, the only thing I would change is I'd learn to read a contract better." |
| | "Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most." |
| | "Well listen, how does a sparrow make an emergency landing? With a sparrowchute." |
| | "We've obviously got what the people want. It's aggressive music and I think America likes aggression." |
| | "Happiness to me is getting stoned." |
| | "I know I ain't going to fucking live to be an old man. I know that." |
| | "I didn't think anything we did was spectacular. I remember we thought, 'Let's just write some scary music.'" |
| | "I don't know if I'm a medium for some outside source. Whatever it is, frankly, I hope it's not what I think - Satan." |
| | "They say life sucks and then you die, that's pretty much it." |
| | "If I had done everything they said I've done, I'd be dead." |
| | "I am not fucking Dracula." |
| | "I got rabies shots for biting the head off a bat but that's OK - the bat had to get Ozzy shots." |