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Quotes from "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective"
FAVORITES 
Tags: Quotes, Saying, Words, Said, Famous, History, Film
These are some famous quotes from the comedy "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective" starring Jim Carrey.
| | Do NOT go in there! WOOOO! |
| | Captain's Log, stardate 29.6, rounded off to the… nearest decimal point. We've… traveled back in time to save an ancient species from… total annihilation. SO FAR… no… signs of aquatic life anywhere, but I'm going to find it. If I have to tear this universe another black hole, I'm going to find it. I've… GOT TO, MISTER! |
| | This is double-paned sound-proof glass. There is no way that neighbor could've heard Roger Podacter scream on the way down with that door shut. The scream she heard came from inside the apartment before he was thrown over the balcony and the murderer closed the door before he left. Yes. Yes. Oh, yeah. Can ya feel that, buddy? Huh? Huh? Huh? [as Tangina Barrons?] I have exorcised the demons… this house is clear. |
| | Hi Captain Stubing. How are Gopher and Doc? Permission to come aboard sir? |
| | If I'm not back in five minutes...just wait longer. |
| | I'm in Psychoville, and Finkle's the mayor. |
| | Whew… now I feel better. 'Course, that might not do any good you see nobody's missing a porpoise. It's a dolphin that's been taken. The common harbor porpoise has an abrupt snout, pointed teeth and a triangular thoracic fin. While the bottlenose dolphin, or Tursiops truncatus, has an elongated beak, round cone shaped teeth and a serrated dorsal appendage. But I'm sure you already knew that. That's what turns me on about 'cha, your attention to detail. |
| | Warning: Assholes are closer than they appear. |
| | Einhorn is Finkle. Finkle is Einhorn. Einhorn is a man! Oh, my god! Einhorn is a man?! [after discovering Einhorn's true identity and remembering being kissed by "her"] |
| | If the lieutenant is indeed a woman, as she claims to be, then she is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids I have ever seen! That's why Roger Podacter was murdered! He found Captain Winky! |
| | That's not Snowflake! |
| | Good question, Aguado. First, I'd establish a motive. In this case the killer saw the size of the bug's DICK and became insanely jealous. Then I'd lose 40 pounds… PORKIN' his wife. |
| | Well, I'm not really ready for a relationship, Lois, but thank you for asking. Hey, maybe I'll give you a call sometime. Your number's still 9-1-1? Aaal-righty then. |
| | Holy Testicle Tuesday! |
| | Excuse me! I'd like to "ass" you a few questions! |
| | The laces were in! They were IN! |
| | It was all that Dan Marino's fault, everyone knows that. If he had held the ball, laces out, like he was supposed to, Ray would never have missed that kick. Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell. Would you like a cookie? |
Lister:
Pratt
Source:
Compiled by LAL
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