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Geek Office Slang   Add to wiki
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Tags: slang, terms, geek, nerd, programming, office

New office slang incorporating geek language from technical and programmer types. Feel free to add your own.

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  • 404: Someone who is clueless. From the Web error message, "404 Not Found," which means the document requested couldn't be located. "Don't bother asking John. He's 404."
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  • Adminisphere: The rarified organizational layers above the rank and file that makes decisions that are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant.
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  • Alpha Geek: The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. "I dunno, ask Rick. He's our alpha geek."
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  • Assmosis: Remember "Osmosis" The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
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  • Batmobiling: putting up emotional shields. Refers to the retracting armor that covers the Batmobile as in "she started talking marriage and he started batmobiling"
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  • Beepilepsy: The brief seizure people sometimes suffer when their beepers go off, especially in vibrator mode. Characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions, and stopping speech in mid- sentence.
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  • Betamaxed: When a technology is overtaken in the market by inferior but better marketed competition as in "Microsoft betamaxed Apple right out of the market"
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  • Blamestorming: A group discussion of why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
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  • Blowing Your Buffer: Losing one's train of thought. Occurs when the person you are speaking with won't let you get a word in edgewise or has just said something so astonishing that your train gets derailed. "Damn, I just blew my buffer!" (Synonym: "Head Crash")
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  • Body Nazis: Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively.
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  • Bookmark: To take note of a person for future reference. "After seeing his cool demo at Siggraph, I bookmarked him."
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  • Brain Fart: A byproduct of a bloated mind producing information effortlessly; a burst of useful information. "I know you're busy on the Microsoft story, but can you give us a brain fart on the Mitnik bust?" Variation of old hacker slang that had more negative connotations.
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  • CGI Joe: A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social skills and charisma of a plastic action figure.
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  • Chainsaw Consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
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  • Chip Jewelry: Old computers destined to be scrapped or turned into decoration. "I paid three grand for that Mac and now it's nothing but chip jewelry."
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  • Chips and Salsa: Chips = hardware, salsa = software. "First we gotta figure out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa."
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  • CLM (Career Limiting Move)- Used by microserfs to describe an ill- advised activity. "Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM."
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  • Cobweb: A WWW site that never changes.
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  • Crapplet: A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet. "I just wasted 30 minutes downloading that crapplet!"
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  • CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously farting while passing thru a cube farm, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust; leads to PRAIRIE DOGGING.....
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  • Cube Farm: An office filled with cubicles.
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  • Dead Tree Edition: The paper version of a publication available in both paper and electronic forms.
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  • Dilberted: To be exploited and oppressed by your boss, as is Dilbert, the comic strip character. "Damn, I've been dilberted again! The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week."
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  • Dorito Syndrome: The feeling of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive substances that lack nutritional content. "I just spent six hours surfing the Web, and now I've got a bad case of Dorito Syndrome."
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  • Egosurfing: Scanning the Net, databases, etc., for one's own name.
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  • Elvis Year: The peak year of popularity as in "1993 was Barney the dinosaur's Elvis year"
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  • Flight Risk: Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon.
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  • Generica: Fast food joints, strip malls, sub-divisions as in "we were so lost in generica that I couldn't remember what city it was"
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  • Glazing: Corporate-speak for sleeping with your eyes open; a popular pastime at conferences and early-morning meetings. "Didn't he notice that by the second session half the room was glazing?"
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  • Going Postal: Totally stressed out and losing it like postal employees who went on shooting rampages
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  • GOOD job: A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.
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  • Gray Matter: Older, experienced business people hired by young entrepreneurial firms trying to appear more professional and established.
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  • Graybar Land: The place you go while you're staring at a computer that's processing something very slowly (while you watch the gray bar creep across the screen). "That CAD rendering put me in graybar land for like an hour."
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  • High Dome: Egghead, scientist, PhD
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  • Idea Hamsters: People whose idea generators are always running.
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  • Irritainment: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.
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  • It's a Feature: From the old adage, "It's not a bug, it's a feature." Used sarcastically to describe an unpleasant problem you wish to gloss over.
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  • Keyboard Plaque: The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on some people's computer keyboards.
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  • Link Rot: The process by which web page's links become obsolete as the sites they're connected to change or die.
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  • Meatspace: The physical world (as opposed to the virtual) also "carbon community" "facetime" "F2F" "RL"
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  • Mouse Potato: The online generation's answer to the couch potato.
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  • Ohnosecond: That minuscule fraction of time during which you realize you've just made a terrible error.
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  • Open-Collar Workers: People who work at home or telecommute.
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  • Percussive Maintenance: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
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  • Perot: To quit unexpectedly. "My cellular phone just perot'ed."
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  • Plug-and-Play: A new hire who doesn't require training. "That new guy is totally plug-and-play."
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  • Prairie Dogging: When something loud happens in a cube farm, causing heads to pop up over the walls trying to see what's going on.
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  • Ribs 'N' Dick: A budget with no fat as in "we've got ribs 'n' dick and we're supposed to find 20K for memory upgrades"
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  • Salmon Day: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed in the end. "God, today was a total salmon day!"
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  • Seagull Manager: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, ****s over everything and then leaves.
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  • Siliwood: The coming convergence of movies, interactive TV and computers; also "Hollywired"
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  • SITCOMs: What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. "Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage"
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  • Square-Headed Spouse: Computer
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  • Squirt the Bird: To transmit a signal up to a satellite. "Crew and talent are ready...what time do we squirt the bird?"
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  • Starter Marriage: A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.
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  • Stress Puppy: A person who thrives on being stressed-out and whiny.
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  • Swiped Out: An ATM or credit card that has been used so much its magnetic strip is worn away.
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  • Tourists: Those who take training classes just to take a vacation from their jobs. "There were only three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists."
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  • Treeware: Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.
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  • Umfriend: One with whom one has a sexual relationship; as in, "this is Dale, my...um...friend."
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  • Under Mouse Arrest: Getting busted for violating an online service's rule of conduct. "Sorry I couldn't get back to you. AOL put me under mouse arrest."
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  • Uninstalled: Euphemism for being fired. Also: decruitment.

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