| | "Mista Koter…" - Vinnie Barbarino - "Welcome Back Kotter" |
| | "But Ricky!" - Lucy Ricardo - "I Love Lucy" |
| | "Oh my God." - Joey - "Friends" |
| | "Let's ignore Angela. She can't help herself. She's the product of a two-parent household." - Rayanne - "My So Called Life" |
| | "No, I mentioned the Bisque." - Elaine - "Seinfeld" |
| | "Maybe the Dingo ate your baby." - Elaine - "Seinfeld" |
| | "Oh the humanity!" - Newman - "Seinfeld" |
| | "I don't mind being called a liar when I am lying, when I am about to lie or just finished lying... but not when I am telling the truth." - Homer - "Simpsons" |
| | "If you would consider going to a shrink, I would pay for it myself. The hospital would hold a bake sale, for God's sake." - Dr. Lisa Cuddy - "House" |
| | "It takes two department heads to treat shortness of breath? What, did the complications increase exponentially with cup size?" - Dr. Lisa Cuddy - "House" |
| | "Like I always say, there's no "I" in team. There's a "me" though, if you jumble it up." - Dr. Gregory House - "House" |
| | "Yeah, that's the ticket" - Jon Lovitz as the pathological liar - "Saturday Night Live" |
| | "Up your nose with a rubber hose." - Vinnie Barbarino - "Welcome Back, Kotter" |
| | "Whatchoo talkin' bout Willis?" - Arnold - "Different Strokes" |
| | "Aaaah! Gibbs! Didn't your momma teach you not to sneak up on people?" - Abby Sciuto - "NCIS" |
| | "You can't rush science, Gibbs! You can yell at it and scream at it, but you can't rush it." - Abby Sciuto - "NCIS" |
| | "Hand me that foot, would you?" - Dr. Al Robbins - "CSI" |
| | "Causality? Well, OK, you know, one event causes another, OK, but sometimes, you just gotta say, the laws of time and space? Who gives a smeg!'" - Kryten - "Red Dwarf" |
| | "Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast." - Ace - "Red Dwarf" |
| | "We deserve a night of fun, don't you think? I mean, it breaks up those nights of death and mayhem." - Doyle - "Angel" |
| | "Hey, I'd rather have a hydrochloric acid facial. I'd rather invite a hive of wasps to nest in my throat. I'd rather sit through a junior high school production of Cats - You see where I'm going with this?" - Lorne - "Angel" |
| | "No whammies, no whammies..." - (every contestant) - "Press Your Luck" |
| | "D'oh!" - Homer - "Simpsons" |
| | "I thought I'd get your theories, mock them, then embrace my own. The usual." - Dr. House - "House M.D." |
| | "Exxxxcellent." - Mr. Burns - "The Simpsons" |
| | "Mmmm, floor pie." - Homer - "The Simpsons" |
| | "Yadayadayada…" - Elaine - "Seinfeld" |
| | "Candygram." - Landshark - "Saturday Night Live" |
| | "You need to flush the gaskets." Jerry - "Seinfeld" |
| | "Here it is, your moment of Zen." - Jon Stewart - "The Daily Show" |
| | "Denial is not just a river in Egypt...it's a freakin Ocean." - Meredith - "Grey's Anatomy" |
| | "I am Kid O'Dyno-Mite!" - JJ - "The Good Times" |
| | "You must be twrazy." - Uncle Bernie - "The Bernie Mac Show" |
| | "You Tommy, aint got no job." - Martin - "The Martin Lawrence Show" |
| | "You're pushing your luck, little man." - Soup Nazi - "Seinfeld" |
| | "Wood is Good" - Kramer - "Seinfeld" |
| | "Out with the old, in with the nucleus." - Homer's physics professor - "The Simpsons" |
| | "But I don't wanna be a Pirate!" - Jerry - "Seinfeld" |
| | "I must be a noble vampire... a good guy, on a mission of redemption. I help the helpless... I'm a vamprie with a soul!" - Spike - "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" |
| | "Use the forks, Homer." - Mark Hamill - "The Simpsons" |
| | "The who whatting how with huh?" - Buffy - "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" |
| | "My name is Cliff, and I'll be your, 'If you cannot afford an attorney' attorney." - Cliff - "Veronica Mars" |
| | "It was the least I could do. I always do the least I can do." - Hawkeye Pierce - "M*A*S*H" |
| | "I'm not nuts, I'm condiments. I've been promoted." - Murdock - "A-Team" |
| | "Don't worry about Murdock. In six weeks he won't be able to tell reality from breadsticks." - Face - "A-Team" |
| | "As my dear departed farther used to say, 'Listen to the stream of a river, and you'll fish out the trout!'" - Hannibal - "A-Team" |
| | "That has never satisfactorily been determined." - Murdock - "A-Team" |
| | "I lie, I cheat, I steal and I just don't get any respect." - Face - "A-Team" |
| | "He's not my boyfriend, he's just someone I'm trying on." - Carrie - "Sex in the City" |
| | "Oh my God! Who is driving? Bear is driving. How can that be?" - Dante - "Clerks the Animated Series" |
| | "Swell, I guess we can all sue Oceanic together." - Sawyer - "Lost" |
| | "I keep the blinds closed, so it's kinda disorientin'. But hey, I don't want the government in my business." - Carl - "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" |
| | "He thinks that I'm okay! And he touched me! And I'm not a monkey!" - Helga - "Hey Arnold" |
| | "She's pretty enough to be queen of the cheese festival." - Stinky - "Hey Arnold" |
| | "I'm going to be an inferior decorator!" - Ruthie - "7th Heaven" |
| | "I want your to know I consider you to be more than my shipmates. I consider you people that I've met." - Arnold Rimmer - "Red Dwarf" |
| | "Only Louis Bunuel did it better…" - Graham Chapman - "Monty Python's Flying Circus" |
| | "God will get you for that." Maude - "Maude" |
| | "Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'" - Peter - "Family Guy" |
| | "Watch your head, Skipper." - Gilligan - "Gilligan's Island" |
| | "I'm not driving him to the airport!" - Jerry Seinfeld - "Seinfeld" |
| | "Now that my friends - is one magic lugi" - Jerry - "Seinfeld" |
| | "Hello, Newman." - Jerry - "Seinfeld" |
| | "I'm Master of my Domain" - Jerry - "Seinfeld" |
| | "Do you think it will rain?... Might! Might not!" - from two old guys sitting on a porch in an herbicide commercial |
| | "Well isn't that Special." - Dana Carvey as the Church Lady - "SNL" |
| | "That boy ain't right." - Hank Hill - "King of the Hill" |
| | "Maggie, a hickie? Did you think you can hide it from me? You have to use oil based concealer!" - Fran - "The Nanny" |
| | "One of these days Alice, POW! Straight to the moon!" Ralph Kramden - "Honeymooners" |
| | "Rock. Hard Place. Me." - Chandler - "Friends" |
| | "Whoa." - Joey - "Blossom" |
| | "This is a mistake. I don't know how to have casual conversation. You think you're talking about one thing, and either you are and it's incredibly boring, or you're not because it's subtext and you need a decoder ring." - Dr. Gregory House - "House" |
| | "Silly customer, you cannot hurt a Twinkie!" - Apu - "Simpsons" |
| | "That's what she said." - Michael Scott - "The Office" |
| | "You've got spunk ... I hate spunk!" - Lou Grant - "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" |
| | "I'm a doctor, not a bricklayer!" - Dr. McCoy - "Star Trek" |
| | "I'm sorry, the Art Department is fresh out of invisibility paint." - Joshua - "The Agency" |
| | "Bob dole wants out. LeRusche won't stop with the knock-knock jokes." - Bob Dole - "Futurama" |
| | "Anybody got any cheese?" - Steve Urkel - "Family Matters" |
| | "I know nothing!" - Schultz - "Hogan's Heroes" |
| | "It's a dog eat dog world, and I'm wearing Milkbone underwear." - Norm - "Cheers" |
| | "Sock it to me." - "Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In" |
| | "Whassup?" - "Budweiser ad" |
| | "There's so much I don't know about running a house. For example, on these frozen dinners, when they say preheat the oven, do they mean the whole oven or just the space inside it?" - Earl - "Dinosaurs" |
| | "Carson Daly and a ball dropping. There is two images that should never be said in the same sentence." - Seth - "O.C." |
| | "RIGHT! I'm going to give you a damn good thrashing!" - Basil - "Fawlty Towers" |
| | "The Bucket residence, the lady of the house speaking!" - Hyacinth Bucket - "Keeping up Appearances" |
| | "I'm afraid it's started to rain again." - Sybil Fawlty - "Fawlty Towers" |
| | "Is that Carcass with a C, or Karkass with a K? Because those are both great bands." - Phoebe - "Friends" |
| | "Trying is the first step towards failure." - Homer - "Simpsons" |
| | "Nobody listens to Zathras."- Zathras - "Babylon 5" |