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How to Forgive After an Affair
HOW TO 
Tags: Forgive, Cheaters, Cheating, Affair, Dating, Relationships
After an affair has happened you need to decide if you are staying or leaving. If you decide to stay here is how you can forgive after an affair.
| 1. | Make a list of questions you want to know about the affair. Be very selective in your questions, as this should be a one to two time conversation. |
| 2. | Pick a quiet, calm time and a peaceful sound proof place in order to have your discussion. You should stick to the questions until they are answered. Don't jump around the issues which may come from a single questions. |
| 3. | Write down the answers, and repeat them back to your mate. Paraphrase the answers to prove you understand what is being said. Remain calm, because you want to know the truth, |
| 4. | Don't go crazy during the conversation. Remember the purpose is to forgive and have closure over the situation. |
| 5. | Make a decision to stay in the relationship or not. You can forgive, and end it. Or you can forgive and stay. |
| 6. | Weigh your options, and your sensitivity level. If you stay, you are not allowed to revisit it after a set amount of months no matter what. You and your mate pick a date, say a year or two from now, when you are no longer allowed to bring it up. |
| 7. | When your mind starts to drift to images or anything that sparks a hot anger, take a deep breath, relax, and let it go. |
| 8. | Do not have an affair yourself, no matter what. You'll feel much worse. Eventually, you'll have to confess and be no better than your mate. |
| 9. | Let it go, or it may damage your health, and purge your life of happiness. |
| 10. | Forgive. |
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Sounds sensible. Good luck to anybody who has to try it out, though. In some sticky situations I recommend having someone to 'referee' a couple, but this can't be one of them.
Comment by: hakkai_sensei
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