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No Joke! The Best ACTUAL Newspaper Headlines  
AMUSING 

Tags: Newspaper headlines, news, current events, newspaper, headlines, police, war, cold wave, murder, mystery, true, crime

TrailerGuyBob here, with a list of newspaper articles.. Just don't have the newspaper names.. Would be great if anyone out there knows them and could add them. Format now is the headline followed by ***** and then some comments, some editorial comments, obviously not made by the newspaper.

	Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says *** No, really?
	Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers ****** No more tickets!
	Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? ***** I am checking, hang on !
	Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over ******* What a guy, he always wanted to do a panda.!
	Miners Refuse to Work after Death ****** No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-sos, And it only goes to show there may be work after death..
	Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant ***** See if that works any better than a fair trial!
	War Dims Hope for Peace ****** I can see where it might have that effect!
	If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile ****** I’d bet on that!
	Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures ***** Sort of like Global Warming.
	Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide ***** Hmmmm They may be on to something!
	Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges ***** You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
	Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge ****** He probably IS the battery charge!
	New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group **** Weren't they fat enough?!
	Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft **** That's what he gets for eating those beans!
	Kids Make Nutritious Snacks **** Taste like chicken I suppose?
	Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half **** Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
	Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors Boy, are they tall!
	Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead **** Did I read that right?

Lister: ListAfterList Wiki Contributors
Source: TrailerGuyBob

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