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“As natural as a gorilla beating his chest.” Stephen Colbert Quotes
PEOPLE 
Tags: stephen colbert, colbert report, daily show, comedian, actor, comedy central
Stephen Tyrone Colbert is a three-time Emmy Award-winning American comedian, satirist, actor, and writer, known for his satirical style, particularly in his portrayal of uninformed opinion leaders and deadpan comedic delivery.
| | “In success, you wouldn't be able to say I'm conservative or liberal. I'm part of the blame-America-last crowd.” |
| | Lemme just talk to you for a second about something that I think is good for America: caramel apples ... I had one last night. Delicious. Not talking about candy apples. I think candy apples are a danger! You crack 'em, they're very sharp. You candy apple crowd need to wake up!” |
| | “I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a teacher she didn't like at school. I had a real crush on her, so almost every day I would write her a little short story kwhere she would kill him in a different way.” |
| | “Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK a case of syphilis so bad it eventually blew out the back of his head.” |
| | “Like O'Reilly, we'll grab the most important word out of every sentence ... `The,' for example. Also, I'll say, `I'm angry,' and the graphic will read, `Colbert angry.'” |
| | “I don't think he's necessarily a Republican or Democrat, ... He is part of the `Blame America Last' crowd. Mostly, he just wants to get those bastards -- whoever they are. They know who they are, and they know they're going to get gotten.” |
| | Jon always said 'The Daily Show' has no political impact, ... We're going to go ahead and pick up that gauntlet and change the world!” |
| | "I have two last pieces of advice. First, being pre-approved for a credit card does not mean you have to apply for it. And lastly, the best career advice I can give you is to get your own TV show. It pays well, the hours are good, and you are famous. And eventually some very nice people will give you a doctorate in fine arts for doing jack squat." |
| | "Al Gore has a hit movie called 'An Inconvenient Truth.' I have an inconvenient truth for him: you're still not the president." |
| | "To sit here at the same table with my hero, George W. Bush...I feel like I'm dreaming. Somebody pinch me. You now what, I'm a pretty sound sleeper, that may not be enough...Somebody shoot me in the face." |
| | "When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday -- no matter what happened Tuesday." |
| | "I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq." |
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