| | After doing One Fine Day and playing a pediatrician on ER, I'll never have kids. I'm going to have a vasectomy. |
| | America can't beat anyone anymore. |
| | Do you want the truth or the politically correct version? The truth is that I go plastic, it's so much easier. And I like to put the bags over my head at night when I sleep, which I think all the kids at home should try. Kidding!! |
| | I decided if I walk outside and get hit by a bus, everybody'll say, 'He crammed a load into 34 years.' |
| | I don't believe in happy endings, but I do believe in happy travels, because ultimately, you die at a very young age, or you live long enough to watch your friends die. It's a mean thing, life. |
| | I don't care. Charlton Heston is the head of the National Rifle Association. He deserves whatever anyone says about him. |
| | I don't like to share my personal life... it wouldn't be personal if I shared it. |
| | I grew up in the world of bad television, on my dad's sets and then as a young schmuck on dating shows and so on. |
| | I resolve not to drink liquids before donning the Bat-suit. |
| | I was in a bar and I said to a friend, 'You know, we've become those 40-year-old guys we used to look at and say, 'Isn't it sad?' |
| | I'd think,'In a relationship, we should never have his kind of fight.' Then, instead of figuring out how to make it work, I looked for a way to get out of it. The truth is, you shouldn't be married if your that kind of person. |
| | I'm a Method actor. I spent years training for the drinking and carousing I had to do in this film. |
| | I'm certainly the last person to give advice on, well, anything. |
| | I'm not smart enough and I don't know enough about what's going on. |
| | I'm only two years older than Brad Pitt, but I look a lot older, which used to greatly frustrate me. It doesn't anymore. I don't have to fit into that category and get trounced by Tom Cruise and Brad. |
| | I'm really white trash. |
| | I'm the flavor of the month. |
| | People thought I was Tom and Nicole's bodyguard. They'd come up and go, "Is it okay if I go up and ask for an autograph? It was good. I'd charge 'em three bucks a person. Yeah, you gotta make some money off of that." |
| | Run for office? No. I've slept with too many women, I've done too many drugs, and I've been to too many parties. |
| | The funniest thing is that all the things every director goes through, I thought I could shortcut, but there was no getting around those issues. |
| | The government itself is running exactly like the Sopranos and they sit back and they make deals. And they say okay, 'I'm going do this: France, you're getting the pipelines.' |
| | The only failure is not to try. |
| | There's no connection between al-Qaeda and Iraq. |
| | They say I was a bad Batman, that it was my fault, that I buried the franchise. But the truth is, it was a big project. I was pretty intimidated in that world. I did the best I could in the situation I was given. |
| | We moved away from what we were going after which was the al-Qaeda and there's no connection between al-Qaeda and Iraq, which we know, we spent a lot of time trying to prove it and it didn't happen. And we're going to go into a war and we're going to kill a lot of innocent people. |
| | We're picking on people we can beat. |
| | When you're young you believe it when people tell you how good you are. And that's the danger, you inhale. Everyone will tell you you're a genius, which you are not, and if you understand that, you win. |
| | Who would name their kid Jack with the last words 'off' at the end of the last name? No wonder that guy is screwed up. |
| | You have only a short period of time in your life to make your mark, and I'm there now. |
| | You make a lot of films, do you? You make a lot of films yourself? Yeah, I'd like to see you make a film first before you get to talk about it. What a jerk. |