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How to Tell if Your Husband is a C*cks*cker
AMUSING 
Tags: gay, husband, checklist, how to, boyfriend, homosexual, marriage
A quick checklist to help you find out if he's gay:
| | If your husband thinks you are a nymphomaniac or “pushy and aggressive” because you want sex more than once a year. |
| | If sexual activity steeply declines within the first few days of marriage. |
| | You’re always more sexually aggressive than your husband and he prefers it when you’re on top . . . with a strap-on. |
| | The smell of his breath is a curious combination of Nautica and pork rinds. |
| | If your husband is turned off by the thought of touching your vaginal area. Or performing oral sex on you. Or talking about vagina. Or even saying vagina. Or recognizing the term vagina as a real word. |
| | If his best friend is gay. |
| | If he receives rub downs from his best friend (the hand release massage is a dead-giveaway). |
| | If he follows up a dick joke with “Been there, done that.” |
| | If he can watch “The View” without getting pissed off. |
| | If he hangs out in gay bars. Or if he frequents Applebees more than three times a week. |
| | If he enjoys watching gay porn movies and surfing gay porn Web sites, and doesn’t simply visit these pages when the SI.com site takes forever to load. |
| | If he has a Cher song on his myspace page. |
| | If his favorite mobster is Vito Spatafore. |
| | If he is excessively homophobic, mocking and imitating other gay men. |
| | If his lisp is more pronounced when he is not mocking and imitating other gay men. |
| | If he brags about gay men complimenting him on his looks . . . or on the tattoo he has on his sphincter. |
| | If he has favorite public restrooms. |
| | If he is a veritable know-it-all on the topic of amyl nitrite |
| | When a man and a woman come into a room, does he always look at the man's ass first? |
| | If he frequents gay or bisexual Web sites like AnalBangers.com |
| | If he freaks every time anything gay happens - over-homophobic behaviors |
| | If he is always trying to slip it in your ass |
| | If he sucks cock. |
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Source:
800 lb. Gorilla
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